Aba talaga namang pag-uwi na sa Pilipinas ang inaatupag naming mag-asawa. Ngayong sobrang pagod na ko sa trabaho, yung thought na lang nang bakasyon namin ang nagpapagaan nang araw ko. Para syang “light at the end of a tunnel”.

May mental list na ko nang itinerary namin, pero may written list ako nang bibilhin at nang kakainin ko.

Wala namang order of priority pero pag naiisip ko pa lang itong mga ito e naglalaway na ko.

Nanay ko, gusto ko nang umuwi.

talangkang pehe
ar-arosep
saluyot
burong kanin + nilagang gulay
hito/dalag – pesa/ihaw
sinigang na bangus sa bayabas
maliit na isda sa kamias
sinampalukan manok (may laman loob) sa ubod nang sampalok
tuyo/tinapa/daing/maliit na isda
kalderata kambing
papaetang kambing

mangga
rambutan
kamatsile
duhat
makopa
mabolo
laguna – ?
piña

puto puti
puto kanin
bibingka
suman cassava

kropek
taho
dried pusit
balot, penoy
day old
street food
kapukan

NE brownies
Edna’s ensaymada/cheesecake/ETC
cakeworks muffins
Puno ice cream
palabok – Joey’s
lumpiang sariwa – Blas Edward’s

Siempre pa naiisip  ko na kung gaano ko kalaki pagbalik namin dito after 3 weeks. So dapat kako e payat ako umuwi para may “space” :-D

Bring on the buffet!

I have a “newish” guy on the team and he’s always late. Granted he works late, as in 8pm late. But working better at night is not an excuse not to be here during our core hours. I talked to him last year and talked to him this January.

His timekeeping has improved but lapses are frequent.

The SOP is you notify your department when someone is late or sick, etc. So as you can imagine I have sent a number of emails saying this guy “will be in late”.

Yesterday, a Monday, was no different. EXCEPT one developer replied “unsubscribe”.

Ouch.

I took offence and replied to him that he can direct the emails to his trash.

D’oh!

I’m so dense. The “attack” was for the guy not me.

I told you we’re all very toxic.

The guy replied with a lengthy retort but I hope that teaches him a lesson. I mean the HR already emailed the entire company basically saying “be here by 9am”. Which reminds me, it’s 915am and he’s not here!

And before you ask what the heck am I wasting office hours blogging? I’ve been here since 7am and I’ve already released a change on a website, printed out the regression metrics and looked at some of the results!

In November I was ranting and confused on what I felt was an unfair situation I found myself in.

It’s sort of okay. The Board gave me an unexpected bonus. A much needed boost to our almost-nil savings.

It’s the beginning of the year so this is really a welcome news and I guess an expected action from my bossing after my discussion with them before December.

Money is tight everywhere. Every day there’s a company that let of x-numbers of employees or businesses that folded.

I know how lucky I am to receive a “gratuity”. I really shouldn’t complain but I hope they’d still review and finalise my actual pay.

Mali ba ko?

Kahapon nagkakandaiyak ako sa galit at inis. I felt like I was being castigated for something that wasn’t my fault. I probably misunderstood the directions but I certainly didn’t fail on reminding the correct people of what’s not getting done. To think it’s not my department anyway.

Bottomline is lalo akong nagagalit dahil I was completely paralyzed. I sat there stupefied and accepting of what was to come – more definitions on the workload.

I was probably so stressed that on my allergy-clinic visit later that day, I got so dizzy I have had to lie down.

This morning I sent an invite for a different topic and one replied ” …I don’t mind staying if the (sic) is a good reason why this cannot be done at an earlier time, or even on a different day.”

This guy is normally sardonic. Ignore the fact that he comes in very early and leaves early (like me on some days). Why would I need to justify his presence in a meeting??? Normal people would just request the meeting to be moved. Point.

Last night I kept rolling over my head what I’m going to tell my boss. I’m done with the crap I’ve been given. I laid out the procedure but he can find another lackey. I offer no added value to be in the middle of it, and I am certainly not gaining anything from it. I have better get my shit sorted for what I am really supposed to do.

Ayan, sounds perfect kasi ilang beses ko na ulit sa ulo ko. Kaya lang bad mood sya ngayon, sabi nung twin partner nya. I guess I will wait until next week after the Board meeting.

Akala mo siguro ang tapang-tapang ko pero umid pala ako. Ewan. Kulang pa ko sa bayag.

Companies and employers do not encourage staff to discuss their renumerations. I worked in one place where it’s actually against the Company Policy to talk about your salary and benefits.

We’re trying to build up the QA team by hiring permanent members. At the moment 90% are consultants.

Part of the hiring process, of course, is knowing how much the candidates’ are going to cost. We just agreed to hire two very expensive people. So expensive in fact that their figures will overrun the budget by at least 100%!!!

But they’re supposedly worth it.

I hope they are. I also hope that these two will not be thorns on my side. I’m not an effing secretary and I’m not a motherhen who will look after unruly kids.

Obvious ba’ng something is eating me?

Una e mas malaki pa sweldo sa akin nang mga kutong-lupa na ito.

Ikaw ang tumayo sa lugar ko, how would you feel?

Pangalawa experienced nga yung isa and I bet he will be really good. The catch? I don’t get the impression that he’s into following procedure. Pa’no ka magiging teamplayer?

And lastly ito’ng huli naman, walang formal QA or testing background! He’s got a good balance of the business domain knowledge and technical know-how. Fingers-crossed he can follow the very structured environment I’ve got in the team.

*deep sigh*

I don’t really know what to do. I’m indignant but powerless at the same time.

What do I do?

Do I go asking the boss for a raise just because those guys came in with a higher tag price?

Should I consider that fact that we’re not live yet?

Should I take into account that though I didn’t get a raise this year (my first year here), I did get a substantial bonus?

Should I wait until my “2nd year anniversary” and ask for an increase then? But will waiting make my arguments weaker? i.e. the product is Live and the newbies are no longer newbies by then.

Why don’t I know what to do?

I was asked a “long time ago” by a resident member (ie. student) what it feels like to actually work.

Well I said it was fun and exciting. It was easy-peasy.

If I get asked the same thing now, my answer would still include exciting but I will fun with hesitation and it’s certainly not easy-peasy.

Sabi nga sa Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility”

Sabayan mo pa kaya nang pamilya at anak? Tapos nang Christian guilt? Plus inclination to stress and perfectionism and voila! Work has finally evolved into toil.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that I have work. I know I am blessed that I am working in the industry of my choosing. That the people I work with are mostly friendly and supportive, but this is no longer my Pinas playground.

I’ve become a serious adult. I fear, I am now boring.

I came in early (around 7am) as I’m pick-up duty this afternoon. I did ctrl-alt-del & logged in to my laptop, which I normally leave running overnight (sorry Earth).

I had about 10 apps open and proceeded on switching back and forth trying to get two-three things done.

Then after one alt-tab too many, I got the “Blue Screen of Death”… Years ago I would have panicked. Maybe I’ve become unhinged due to stress, I was excited to see it and I actually laughed.

It’s been a looonnngggg time since I encountered the BSD … To mark the occasion I snapped a photo.

—

I’m too lazy to download my picture so I copied the attached image from the Wikipedia.

I had a fun two weeks when a college friend came back for the nth time. This time around she brought her younger sister with her and I took a couple of days off, too. They arrived when my workload was just starting to calm down & it was perfect timing. Even the British weather cooperated for most part of their stay.

We went clubbing on a Friday night & booked a five-star hotel in the Central London (courtesy of the younger ‘un). If my guests pull, we arranged it so I will stay with the other London-based pal. I had no plans, I just wanted to party & dance, taste proper cocktails… all of which I’ve not done in a while. Okay all of which I’ve not done in London since moving here, that’s about 7 long years.

My only target was to allow the girls as much fun as they can handle & make sure they’re safe. C, the Londoner, & I were basically pimping the younger sister. I was checking out if the guys she’s dancing with were “acceptable”, politely shoo them away if not. C was scouting until sister was okay & she got herself a guy, too. That left me and my friend, A, dancing together & really just have fun.

There was no shortage of male attention, but we kept turning them down. It’s a bit different from my experience before. Or maybe it’s the club we went to. But some men were quick to fence you in (read: bakuran ka ba) with a hand on your back. Para kong naka-electric chair dahil panay ang iwas at iling ko.

Nearing end of that night (ie. 1-2am) a group of men stood next to me & my friend. They’re not white, I thought they’re latino. Then I overheard this blonde talk to one of them. Type daw nang kaibigan nya itong si pogi, sabi naman ni pogi papahalik daw sya. The entire “conversation” was happening right behind me, as the guy was literally next to me. Cheeky huh.

But then one of them started dancing in front of me – as if we’re partners. For the nth time that night I shook my head. Bakit daw. I dunno what came over me but instead of just saying ‘sorry’, what came out was “not you“. Ahh, he said, and made way for the hot guy who was apparently standing right behind him. Ano ‘to queue? (more…

It never used to bother me, but now it does. Why is it that some men think it’s okay to “wink” at you as a sign of greeting?

Do they think it’s “cool”? They seem to think it’s acceptable & appropriate. I can almost forgive people I’ve known for a while, but those I’ve just been introduced to?!

I get winks in pubs, clubs or bars. That’s fine, the place is a virtual meat market.

If boys happen to read this please remember the following points:

You do not wink at your interviewer.

You do not wink at your colleagues when you pass each other in the hall.

You do not wink when you’re introduced to someone.

You only wink when you think you’re so fucking hot that I’d be weak at the knees I’ll hire you.

You only wink if you’re the hot guy of my fantasy.

You only wink if your eye has an involuntary reflex.

If you do not have a condition, then stop.

If you cannot read minds & don’t know what the heck women think of you (in that way), then stop with the winking!

Hubby’s been complaining that his sides hurt. He managed to go to work on Saturday. We went to church on Sunday, did a little food shopping, he even did the ironing (yes, he doesn’t shy away from housework).

Then I got a voicemail from him, he said he didn’t go to work today because he’s in too much pain. Thankfully (!) he got an appointment from the GP and even more fortunate it was with the “better” doctor. He got the BUPA referral and a scan request for his gall bladder. Now if he waits for NHS that will mean weeks for the results and weeks, if not months, for the consultant.

He’s due for his scan tomorrow and the only consultant near our place is available Wednesday. Hubby says if his pain becomes worse he will go to A&E (that’s the British ER). I asked him if he wants me to be there with him tomorrow. He doesn’t answer straightaway & I don’t look at him.

Deep inside me, I know he wants me to come. I want to come. BUT our Phase 1 release is this week, Friday. It’s problematic and I am needed at work. I feel responsible. BUT I am feeling horrible just thinking about it.

Hubby releases me and initially ventures the scan will be over by 10am. I know though that since the hospital is 2.5 hours away, I will not be in the office until high noon. I will be missing at least 3 meetings and the leave of absence will be without warning as the appointment was only made tonite.

So I asked him in vain really. I feel rotten, my priorities are skewed and the worst thing is I do this almost every month. I feel horrible when I can’t be with my family every time they’re sick. I cannot tend to pogiBoy every day. I cannot tend to my husband every day.

Times like these, I really feel that I did bite more than I can chew.