I should have announced it a long time ago but more important things keep cropping up and I am busier than ever.

But hey world! I am Blessed. No, really I am.

My prayers and pogiBoy’s nightly prayer was answered: “Lord please save mummy’s job” and He did!

I went job hunting because we weren’t making any money. But someone from church advised me to be specific with what I want from Him and that I should ask Him for what He wants me to have. Afterall doesn’t He know what’s best for me?

I claimed to my sister that “in 3 weeks time this situation is resolved, I will have a job!” That was on the 3rd week of June. At the end of the 2nd week of July, the collective dismissal was cancelled and our confirmation letter stated a little something for our trouble.

He is Great. I testified in church that “I asked only for one, but He gave me two“… Okay I could have said it better, but I was overcome with emotion. The point was made, the Lord in His infinite wisdom and mercy knows that at that time I was troubled by several things. Money isn’t the answer but that act of generosity lifted hubby’s spirit even more. He gave us proof that if we humble ourselves and ask, our prayers are indeed answered - in His Time.

See… I could have despaired that I should have had a job offer in less than a month. That’s how it’s always been. I asked Him to change me & Praise God He removed my pride & gave me calm.

There’s so much more besides this that’s happened, but suffice to say,  I am really happy I have come back and I am forever Blessed we have a faithful God.

Calvin is the man…   We’re both dreamers and lazy as heck.

We’re very close to either receiving a lifeline or receiving the dreaded redundancy letter.

I came in Monday and there was a huge browning map on a table near the boardroom. When I asked what it was for, they said it was the map of the DDay landing in Normandy that Bossing put there for everyone to see. Everyone meaning the German Bossing.

All PC huh? Jops folded it up.

So I have had two successful first stage interviews. I was confident, the situational questions brought out my seasoned expertise — naks! Then the agents called me this week and told me I’m not having further meetings with the people. Apparently they received more applicants than expected and a couple were more senior or more experienced than me. Dang!

God Blessing though both interviewers gave me glowing recommendations with the agents. Basically securing me a name recall in case they come across other job openings that might suit me. I had the presence of mind to tell one not to pigeonhole me with management positions, “I’m very much a hands-on tester. If you have a blah blah blah”. God’s will, I’m waiting for confirmation on my next interview given by this agent.

It’s not all rosy though, my third interview last week stank big time. But let’s focus on the positive here!

Next week, you and I will know if I will jobless next month. And God-willing, a week after, we will learn if I will be receiving my next paycheck from a better job.

——-

X’S

So… walang announcement. Wait daw kami nang 2 weeks pa. Aray.

On the bright side, lahat nang top bossing confident. Pati yung target funding positive ang sinabi. At least ang assurance niya kung matuloy ang deal ang financial support e 2 years hindi months or 1 year lang.

Sundan ang susunod na kabanata…

I mean recruitment agents, of course. Otherwise known as ’scums of the earth’.

I’ve always dreaded job hunting. Not (just) because of the lack of places or interviews, but primarily because I know I have to deal with “them”.

Here are some common experiences shared by other jobseekers:
1. Bait
They put job postings that do not exist. This is so they can get your details.
Perhaps to bolster their dB, maybe they’ve got a target # of calls/takers…

They insist on getting reference details when they haven’t even secured an interview.
A colleague said he was given as a reference by a friend. He wasn’t contacted by the agent until 6 months after! And the agent was actually inquiring if my colleague was hiring. Ayayayay.

They get your details and next thing you know, they’re calling your boss.
“Hi, I heard you’re looking to fill role-so-and-so“…

They call you but they’re not interested in YOU. They want you to help them source people.
“Hi I’m not looking for a tester at the moment, but I was wondering if you could recommend a JAVA developer…”

Someone you don’t know claims they’re company’s updating their system and is asking for your details. Who are you?!

2. Word of honour, or lack of
Especially true for junior or new entrants. They talk to you. The last thing you’ll hear from them is “I will call you back“.
This still happens when on higher levels, your CV probably didn’t get shortlisted for an interview and suddenly the agent who’s been calling you all-day-everyday disappears.

3. Downright aggressive
After an interview and you pulled out your application, “Ah so you don’t want that job? You’re only in it for the money aren’t you?!” Of course, mate. Aren’t you?
They’re on commission basis so of course, most of these people are not looking after your well-being. They’re selling you like meat. If they can sell you at a discounted rate, they probably will!

Of course, there are exceptions. As in exceptions in how I feel about them. I dealt with two that are relatively decent compared to others. However it’s hard to quantify their qualities as it’s all subjective.

I can say though it’s rare to feel warmth towards recruitment agents.

Ganito din kaya sa Pinas or ibang bansa?

The title is meant to be the ominous intro… You know that classical music often used in film noirs?

The City skies today are darker than the picture I pasted in my previous post. I think the UK weather is sympathising with the rest of the working class (the headline today read “2.2 MILLION: Jobless total rockets again as 244,000 are thrown out of work since Christmas“. It refuses to let Summer start.

Added to the fact that when you come in to the office in the morning, the depression and sadness is so thick you almost choke. Well, that could just be my imagination. All of the sudden, the office seemed emptier. And that is weird because no one has left since I March… Okay there were two, both Sales(!), but they almost do not count as they’re locked in a separate area, they’re not on the main floor.

I got asked twice today if I have already updated my CV. I have, I just haven’t posted them on job sites yet. (more…

I got a double-whammy on Friday. I thought I was coming down with the flu so I decided to stay home. I couldn’t even bring myself to continue working so I logged off before lunchtime. (By Saturday I wasn’t any better, by Sunday it hit me. It’s not flu, it’s hay fever hugging me with all its might.)

I was wearily checking my crackberry on and off throughout the day. My teammate emailed me saying there was another company meeting and things were announced and it’d be good if I can call her.

I love this girl. She’s a consultant but I’ve never had a better teammate. She’s a real teamplayer and for a good time here, a friend.

So long story short, the company is in trouble and if we don’t find any backers soon, we will all be made redundant! Aside from the financial ouch, as I said I don’t want to go. It was with a heavy heart that I added a paragraph to my CV. But I didn’t feel the need to update my internet profile just yet.

God will provide. Men will have to do their bit, of course.

I will do what I need to do to make sure our family doesn’t get evicted from our home. But I am keeping the Faith that the Company will pull thru or if not, I will have somewhere to land.

All these are highly-confidential of course… Reality is really hitting home. What I’ve been reading on paper and pretty much been ignoring, is now knocking on my doorstep.

—–

pahabol sulat

I just checked how my entitlement is for redundancy pay, ngek… Pasalamat na din kesa sa wala.

Holiday is almost a foreign concept to me back in Pinas. When I go to other places, I call them gala.

Tipong lilibot ako for the first sa Boracay o Puerto Galera. Matagal na yung annual leave na 1 week. Nang maging OFW ako by accident, natatawa ko sa mga Briton dahil sobrang keen silang mag-holiday.

Less than a year though I was nearly always in tears, missing the familiarity and comfort of “home”. I couldn’t wait for my holiday. Big deal na sa akin ang annual leave.

At the age of 26, I felt like an employee. Dati parang college pa din, pa-banjing-banjing lang.

So my 3-week break is over. I did well on my food list and even got to taste some goodies that I didn’t look for. If there’s a downside to the trip it’s that we didn’t have enough time to go to a proper beach. Of course it goes without saying that 21-or-so days aren’t enough but hey maswerte na ko I got that! Besides any longer and we’ll go home dirt poor!

We’re still all on a high. pogiBoy enjoyed Pinas so much he’s been asking when we’ll go back. Hubby gained some weight. He’s more relaxed though from time to time still thinks about the accidental unbudgeted gastos we incurred.

I am definitely relaxed and chilled. Coming back to work with a new Build Release to work on immediately, wala talagang settling in period but I am okay.

There is a shocker though. I was told by bossing in not so many words that the company is in financial trouble. We need a backer soon as we’re not going to break-even in the next three months. There is a general atmosphere of gloom in the company. I feel really sad and torn about this, I don’t want to leave.

One of the girls told me she’s been noticing others do seem to be on the (job) hunt. Like me, she’s reluctant to start searching. Unlike this girl though I have responsibilities to think about, mortgage, a child, a family…My reluctance not just out of loyalty or being in my comfort zone. It took me a long time to find a London job that I really liked and now it seems I’ll have to say goodbye very abruptly.

Maybe we’ll know more by June. In the meantime I really have to force myself to revise my CV and to start updating my net profile.

Eminem is right…  there goes gravity or at least in my case, that is the gravity of the situation.

Some jobs, especially those with obscure titles, are difficult to describe. When asked what I do for a living I’m torn between giving them the technical description and just blurting out the simplest explanation. Should I dumb down my answer? Will they even understand half of what I will say? Should I watch for clues that what I said sunk in? Or are their eyes glazing over?

There are three people so far who asked me this very question & I’ve been so uncomfortable with the experience I couldn’t forget.

The first is my mum. I started working during my last semester in Uni. I was hired by a small software house in Makati and the salary (allowance really as it was non-taxable) for the training period was just six thousand pesos (6K Php). Since I was renting a room at 4K a month, I ended up asking Nanay to pay for extra money the first two months (maybe longer, the detail’s hazy hehe). Probably pitying her daughter’s situation she ventured that our neighbour’s son who had the same degree is working in the local Coop bank, perhaps I should try that, too? I said no and besides I wasn’t a programmer.

Nanay’s follow up was to ask me what it was I do anyway. I told her I test the programmer’s work. The look she gave me said she didn’t quite understand how the heck my job was different from a programmer’s. Besides what’s a programmer anyway? She tried to ask a few more times (every few months) to find out exactly what it is I do and why I get sent abroad, what do I look for in these programs?? She eventually gave up after 4 or 5 years. These days she just tells neighbours and friends that her bunso works with computers. Clean and simple, everyone nods none the wiser.

The second person who asked me this worked in my last job. She was part of the commercial team and I, being QA/testing, belong to the Technology department. I told her what I do and gave a few examples relating to our product/platform. She smiled and asked, “so is it hard?”

Ohhh. How do you answer that one? I don’t want to say it’s easy because it’s not. But I didn’t know what her reference point was. So I just said technically speaking it’s from the other end of the spectrum as our programmers. Technical know-how is essential to be effective but to have the domain expertise is also a must. A few nods were made to indicate she got it, but I don’t think so.

Okay in the “real world” QA/testing as a profession still needs a lot of make-up. We’re still seen as dumping ground for those that cannot code. But that’s another topic.

My point is, can I say nursing is easy? Or that writing as profession is easy? I’m not qualified and I don’t want to boast. I just know there are times in my job that I can do it with my eyes closed (that’s the time I need to look for new opportunities) and there are many times when I pray my skills are enough because I feel really stretched.

The third person actually was with several other people. They all look at IT as if I earn 24-carat gold coins and they earn gold-plated coins. When I told them what I do for a living, this guy said “IT is easy“. Afterall didn’t he know how to use a computer? It apparently takes some practise to master what us professionals takes years to learn. I was too disgusted/disappointed to say anything I just looked at him and then I turned to someone else.

Was he talking about practising using Word? Or was he thinking of mastering object-oriented programming?

One of the “listeners” said she’s thinking of taking some lessons in I.T and ditch nursing in the UK. Do I think she can do it? I said anyone can do anything they want, it depends on the person whether their life will be any different than what it is now.

I guess I was too profound they lost interest. Or perhaps they turned away with disgust, too?

I do get stumped a lot of times when asked what I do. I answer and still I hear “so, what does it mean? what do you do?”

I work for the MI6 as a Filipino counter-intelligence in the international arms trade. Will that be easier to understand?

I often wish I can clone myself or turn myself into something else. A butterfly maybe?

It’s crunch time at work. We’re going Live at the end of the week and we’re still receiving builds and patches. It’s bad enough we have not had a proper code freeze, but to be given changes a few days before Live??!

The lone consultant helping me out with the functional testing was moaning yesterday. Wishing there’s at least a week to complete the tasks. I try to calm the person a little bit by saying we’re not expected to complete a bulk of our manual regression testing, and to focus on the new changes.

Unfortunately the change released confounded the fact we didn’t have the time to re-jig our test data due to lack of resource. Now we’re having to work doubly-hard to get this halfway-done and for completion post-Live.

Gaaadd. My team’s like a never ending tasklist. You should see our WIKI page. It’s a testament to my OCD.

Then yesterday afternoon the neighbour called and said pogiBoy threw up in school. He was complaining of headaches and couldn’t breathe due to heavy colds. Hubby calls to ask me IF I can go home… He always does this, why can’t he volunteer for once? Because his Ward is busy and they cannot have a replacement etc etc.

How about me? I will end up leaving the consultant and miss my allergy desensitization.

I feel bad already about not being there with pogiBoy but he knows what pickle I am in right now.

Hubby goes home only to call later on that he has migraine and boy! was he “glad” he went home.

My desensitization yesterday was increased to the same level as two weeks ago. This dose caused me to have an alarming breathing problem. Naturally I was worried again.

God is merciful. I didn’t have any breathing problem. I took a few puffs of Bricanyl just to ease my breathing but I’m generally okay up to today.

pogiBoy was feverish and he really couldn’t breathe but he believes Jesus will heal him and we do, too.

Hubby is his baby-self. Waking this morning to ask me to work from home, which I can’t agree to. He’s okay, he tends to clamour for attention at the slightest chance.

I do want to stay home and play nurse to my two boys. But I can’t.

It’s a hard life, but we chose this. I guess you really can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

Sa tinagal-tagal nang panahon di ko pa din masasabing gets ko na ang british humour and attitude. Actually habang tumatagal lalo ko lang naiisip na dense yata talaga ako.

Kahapon may impromptu meeting na kami. Lagi ‘tong nangyayari, para bang “feel kong magpa-meeting ngayon. Anyway, ang tagal nung nagpatawag nang meeting so chika-chika kami ni jops. Tatlo lang naman kami so attempting to be friendly, tinanong ko si dong kung business o pleasure ba yung trip nya sa amerika.

Ang haba nang sagot nya. Pleasure daw, nagshopping sya, nag-meet sila nung mga friends nya nung dun pa sya nagta-trabaho. Yun daw ang ganda nang walang pamilya pwedeng basta-basta aalis nang walang iniisip maski cost etc etc.

Litanya talaga and naisip ko na na parang may pasaring itong unggoy na ito dahil last year I said something to that effect sa kanya. Panay kasi holiday nito na biglaan, mga weekend trip tapos diretso sa trabaho dala-dala yung board nya. Di ko alam kung pinapasaringan nya ko o inuunahan na nya ko thinking na sasabihin ko uli yun.

But before I could reply, sumagot si jops. Sabi nya dinala daw nya sa Asia-Pacific yung buong pamilya nya “all five of us”. At talaga naman daw mahirap na magastos pa.

In response to that sabi ko may kakilala nga akong apat ang anak di pa nakakabakasyon nang Pinas dahil sa mahal nang pamasahe. Kako they holiday in the US instead.

Aba sabi ba naman nang kumag na dong “fascinating”.

jops and I didn’t say anything after that, dong went out after a while and so did I.

Where the heck did that come from? I really didn’t see it coming. But then I should have known better. Itong lalake na ito na nung una e crush ko pa naman, talagang talo pa ang babaeng nag-me-menopause and I apologize to all women for saying that.

Pag talagang nabuset kasi ako I find it hard to let go. I keep thinking and thinking “dapat nasabi/nagawa ko ito”. Siguro talagang dense lang ako o siguro mabagal reflex ko pagdating sa mga verbal assaults o siguro I just expect people to be decent.

Dong is a jerk and jops said to me once that this guy plain cruel sometimes. Matalino nga kasi at talagang dependent sya kanya yung top bossing namin. Pero arogante at walang modo, napakahilig mamahiya, walang pinipili. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been on the receiving end of his sarcastic evil tongue but it’s also very painful to watch him tear others down.

So note to self, iwasang makipag-usap sa lalakeng ito at all cost.

On the funny side, sabi ni jops nabanggit daw nung mga building receptionist-or-whatever-it-is-they-call-themselves na pogi itong si dong. Sinabi daw nya kay dong at talagang looking well pleased naman daw ito. Sabay hirit daw si jops nang “then I told them you were gay“… aahhh bless.

=====================

FYI dong pala ay penis, nagkataon lang yan ang ginamit kong hirdaw.