I have decided to change a couple of things in myself and in my life. Yeah, this is going to be a sappy post.

Q4 2008 my watch stopped ticking. After 26 years, I decided I don’t need one anymore. My mobile phone tells me the date and time anyway. I hate the habit I developed of always looking at my wristwatch when I’m not doing anything or worse when I’m doing something & I seem to time every action, every word.

I thought it would be difficult. I hate being late, I am a stickler for following schedules, but nothing has changed. I felt liberated. Okay I’m not completely free, I do check my phone for time. But now I’m not chained. When I’m in church or in a meeting, I don’t have the urge to whip out my phone ‘just to check the time’. I can concentrate more.

I have also made the biggest jump of my life. It’s a move I have never thought I will ever do.

I’ve become a Born-again Christian.

There are many definitions about what it means to be a born-again. Here are some. In Pinas they’re called by so many derogatory terms. People would say “ayan na yung praise-the-lord“. Praning.  I wasn’t very fond of them either. Some of them badger you, others walk and talk like you’re all condemned.  Sila lang ang masasagip.

I insisted that they have no monopoly over the term “Christian”. Catholics, Baptists, x-tists… We’re all Christians because we believe Jesus Christ is God’s Holy Son. Actually I still think this.

The difference though is the real acceptance. You know, accepting that He is your Saviour and accepting everything that follows after that declaration.

I have been feeling lost and without direction for a long time. The Sunday masses at the Catholic church weren’t sufficient. I tried to get in touch with some Catholic groups but to no avail.

It’s a long story how I have finally decided to make the jump of all jumps. But all I can say is I have never been happier and more at peace with myself  (and the world). Finally I really know I cannot control everything, I don’t need to. He’s in-charge.

I’m not holier than everyone else. I’m still me. I’m just better.

And you know what? I still want to change. There’s a lot of work to do.

… and my heart is set on this!

It’s been difficult to keep the secret. I’ve been wanting to post about the big leap for days but I managed to still my fingers. Hubby has been encouraging me to buy my domain name. He shared my excitement. In fact, eversince I registered KWK.com he checked its progress constantly.

Well now, it’s up and running and all my blogspot posts & comments are here. There’s work to be done to clean up and re-shuffle a few things. I need to add my widgets, create my blogroll, etc. etc.

If not for my beautiful and gracious hostess’ help, this move would have been such a headache. Beng was kind enough to accommodate my requests and even made me my tailor-made banner! Thanks madam!

Some of you might have noticed already but I took a leaf off BatJay’s KT and thus the title “Kwentong Walang Kwenta“. I’m not as funny, as witty nor as pogi, but I do hope to stay a while.

Tuloy po kayo, wag nang mahihiya.

Oh wow! I’m very, very flattered. I rock? Seriously?! It certainly made my day, okay week. Heck I might take this feeling with me for at least a month.

Teacher Julie said…

Chateau said…

I love her honest humor and sharp wit. I wonder why she called her kwentos walang kwenta when it’s exactly the opposite. She is also a cool rocker mom who loves Metallica. Rock on, Auee!

and Connie, the Sassy Lawyer, also gave me one! I checked my self on the mirror (not easy in our office) to see if I was red because I really felt a warm glow all-over.

Thanks for your kind words & for even thinking of me! Oscar-worthy speech eh.

I am passing the Rockin’ Girl Blogger award to these superladies:

1. Verna of the walk of my life-shlife : Verns, you’re one cool chick & your posts and wit take me back to the good ol’ days of single-blessedness.

2. Jen of J and the three Boys : Jen’s anecdotes about her sweet boys never fail to make me smile or roll with laughter. I’m super impressed with her ability to stay a cool & yummy mommy while managing a successful business, too.

3. Rose of Cookie Jar : Osang an artist in the making, never failing to make waves anywhere she goes. Continue blogging & posting those pictures, please!

4. Pining of Hinaing ni Pining : A treasure found from Annamanila’s million blogfriends. I always look forward to reading her stories, for they remind me I’m not the lone Pinay in the UK afterall. Her engaging writing style provokes a lot of memories & emotions.

5. Mona of Renaissance Girl : My first ever blog haunt that got me hooked. She’s witty, she’s scary, she’s very impressive. Her Corporate Slave series is a winner. Mona, come on, blog! If you get the chance download at her weblog favourites & start laughing.

Well the “rule” says pass on the hot pink award to other ladies in the blogosphere but if you can’t that’s fine. Just wanted to let you know that you all rock!

I was offline for 5 days and I missed out on a lot of things. But first things first, THANKS TO EVERYONE who cheered me on my birthday. THANKS FOR your kind words & warm hugs & your very welcome presence.

Hubby & I were planning my weekend celebration for almost a month. No, it’s not big but we needed to notify our guests a month in advance so they could book their holidays. It was supposed to be a BBQ-cum-swimming party but rain hasn’t stopped in Blighty for nearly 3 weeks now. In fact, a number of towns in the countryside were flooded & some of the residents are refugees up to now. Unbelievable. One “victim” said the situation was not ala-Third World but more like “Fifth World’s”.

Then Tony Blair finally resigned & now Gordon Brown reigns supreme, well next to the Queen anyway. Lo & behold, we haven’t finished speculating what Mr Spin is going to do and two car bombs were found in Central London. They were filled with LPGs and nails. When I heard about the nails, I briefly remembered UP fratmen’s homemade-pillbox bombs.

After the “party” (more like chikahang walang humpay), we heard about the failed car bomb attack in Glasgow! Thankfully no one was hurt except the effing drivers. One of them came out while he was burning I’m not clear on the story that followed, but wasn’t he supposed to die in the carnage? Pictures I saw were of him dutifully standing still while being hosed down with water. I know I digress from the issue, but I can’t help it.

The other driver is in critical condition & is being guarded in a hospital. I hope they both survive so we can get as much information from them as possible. So far 8 people have been arrested. It is disconcerting though that all of them worked/works for the NHS! Now NHS is trying to defend the reason they hire qualified foreigners to mitigate the staff shortage. Come on people! Just beef up the security procedures in personnel recruitment, end of story. The media or whoever should not demand more justification, we already know NHS is in deep shit at is.

So there. Three big things happening while I was offline. Oh and yeah the PMN news! Gees I’m so far behind I missed the big push. In fact I’ve yet to read the posts & bloghop. The spirit is willing but the timing is weak.

The reason I was briefly incommunicado: The auntie left us on Tuesday (26 June) & my son fell sick on Wednesday! Hubby stayed home the first day, I took the Thursday & Friday shifts. Thankfully he was better on Saturday. His sinus was so congested he actually told me his head hurts (by pointing to his forehead & saying “hurt”! Poor guy. His fever went yo-yo, his appetite was gone & like Sheila Marie’s Lucho, he lost a lot of weight! And it’s only been 4 days. Thank God he’s all hungry hippo now.

Because I’ve got to catch up on work, too, I haven’t had the chance to visit your blogs or reply to your comments yet. But I will this weekend or sooner, promise. Blogging is so addicting, it’s like I’m aware I haven’t read about your life for a while & I miss it! EEECCKK.

So thanks again for dropping-by & I will hover over to your sites soon.

This is pogiBoy’s Spaceship drawn in his dad’s Father’s Day card. And yes, that’s my chicken-scratch (kinahig ng manok) handwriting.

My 3-year old loves to doodle but mostly only circles and lines, in fact even his square looks like a circle. Nope he’s no Van Gogh (yet), perhaps he’ll become an abstract painter?

I’ve been fidgety since last night. I wanted to bounce around & I think, unconsciouly a smile creeps on my face every now & then. No, it’s not that ‘Friday feeling’.

It’s because the Sassy Lawyer picked up one of my posts. It was already a delight to see (read) her expound on the topic. What I didn’t realise was the post was actually her Manila Standard editorial for this week! Isn’t that cool? Well from my use of superlatives & ‘!’ you’d already guess I’m over the moon.

Funny thing was, only when I tried her tip in the Mommy Journals did I see that I have an inbound link from the Manila Standard!
:-)

Because this is such a big deal for me, I’m putting this post under the label “occasion“. Yup, starstruck fan is in awe.

I’m so happy, happy, happy… <– singing like Dory in Nemo

The coming week will only hold four (4!!!) working days, leaving me & my son 4 days of bliss. Hubby gets to spend two days with us, he only got 2 days’ off for that week. We’ve got nothing big planned. If we had the spare cash we’d have a proper holiday but since our purse strings’ short at the moment, we’ll just visit Princess Diana’s memorial & lounge a bit in the park. My toddler will have his haircut in Trotters, as well.

Hubby & I will probably catch “300″ in the cinema. Since my son’s arrival, we’ve only ever watched DVDs. I think it’s time we go visit the leisure centre again. Ideally, yes, we ought to bring our son to a family film but… I really want to spend some time alone with hubby even if it’s just a popcorn date.

Son & I will probably spend a good amount of time in the garden as Spring’s officially here. I plan to bring him to our local park too so that our auntie would know where to take him, I’m thinking of visiting the local library as well, I haven’t been there for at least 2 years and I am hoping they’ve refurbished the place. The mobile library is better than its immobile counterpart!

Siempre Easter kaya nag-breaktime ang UK. We’re also going to church, sayang nga at wala namang araw ng palaspas dito. I already feel bad we missed the “Station of the Cross”. Hubby said the family will do the confession on Sunday.

So there, a week before and my mind’s already set and the long weekend is already booked.

On my way to work, with random thoughts as company, I had to urge to count my age (I tend to forget) and realised that I am 30 this year! I was shocked. For me ‘30′ officially dates a person as “old”. And now I am. In 10 years time I will be 40.

What have I got to show for it? This is a milestone in my life and have I got what wanted and truly deserved? I thought long and hard back to those girl promises made in the 80’s. Well at least I was true to my promise not to marry until I was 25. I didn’t want kids until my early 30’s but then changed my mind as I don’t want to be a stooped old lady with a teenage son. I have a mortgage, I a brand new family car which we’re paying for 3-years, I’m a senior employee at work, I’ve been to several continents… So are these enough to gauge my personal achievements?

I can’t help but feel that there is a void. My love for my family is great & overwhelming but at the same time the responsibilities and relationships I have are also tremendous. I hate being a grown-up &amp;amp;amp; I loathe the need to act like one. I’d like to curl up & just be my mom’s little girl. Ahh those were days.

30, it scares me.