I received the same email from my sisters about this Chinese couple who had a May-December affair.

I proceeded to reply, talking about Joel and I, but I ended on a different love story.

I miss her with all my being it hurts even after 6 years.

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I have been dating hubby for 4 years before we got married and we have been married for 5 years. In all of those 9 years here are some oustanding memories I have of him.

OUR FIRST DATE. When he ordered his soda of choice, he said “rot ber” (i.e. root beer). I realised he is Bisaya, and my first thought was “wow he’s really afront about it, not shy (ashamed) at all”. Later on, when I told him how impressed I was back then, I was in for a shock! He was indignant and insisted he has no Bisaya accent at all. Worse, he now claims it’s because of me that he now has one. WHAT?

SECURE. He’s not the jealous-type. In fact, he likes it when I get looks from other guys. When we were dating, he would actually tell me to make “pa-cute” (how do I translate this??) as someone’s checking me out. When I asked him about this attitude (perversion?) he said he feels proud that his gf/wife is pretty & attractive <- his words not mine, I swear!

MEETING THE FAMILY. He insisted on meeting my parents. He accompanied me to Nueva Ecija. Perhaps sensing I really don’t want to introduce him to my family, he arrived at the bus station 2 hours earlier than myself.

GOD-FEARING. I was an occasional Catholic, meaning I go to church only during certain events. Sometimes I do hear Sunday mass. But hubby made sure I attend to my spiritual needs, too. He’d pick me up on Sundays or after work to do novena’s. He’d insist we pray together. And now he’s the one who taught Kelvin the Guardian Angel Prayer and some additional praises & supplications. I have a better relationship with God because of my husband.

OC. He used to clean his room endlessly and it used to drive me up the wall. In the morning, he’d sweep the floor and dust everything in sight, then he’d do the same ritual before going to bed! I was hoping he’d keep that habit, but unfortunately he chose to copy me and relax more. Pity.

WORST REACTION. He was keen on starting a family. He was eager to get married and was excited about me getting off the pill. But on the day I showed him my pregnancy tests (yup, all three of them), his first reaction was “Negative?” with a sheepish smile. I was expecting him to immediately jump up & down, not stand there looking confused. When I told him I was preggers, he was speechless, then he kissed me, and next day, he gave me two more test kits, you know just to be sure… yup he’s really OC.

BEST REACTION. He cried when I gave birth, he cried again when he first saw Kelvin. He also cried when he saw my CS scars.

Hubby is far from perfect, but so am I. I thank God for giving me the best person in the world to accompany me in my lifetime.

I’m not sure if he actually reads this blog in-between surfing for Manchester United, just in case though,

If I could be half as good as my Nanay in being a mother and a third as good at being a wife, I will be the luckiest & happiest person on Earth.

She is selfless. She always sees the good in people. She thinks everyone is pretty especially if they are kind. She is kind to a fault. She readily forgives. She is made of steel but is soft & sweet like a marshmallow.

My Nanay’s attained “just” gradeschool education. But she is the wisest woman I know. Her words ring true and they’re meant to strengthen me when I’m flailing. Her words endure and they’re meant to guide me when I’m lost.

Nanay is a feminist. She told me once that women’s issues need to be heard in government. The labour parties have enough representation, she told me to support women’s & children’s causes instead. Why didn’t I think of that?

My Nanay doesn’t know how to use the computer so she will never get to read this online. I miss her everyday these last 6-7 years, her cooking, her hug, her smile.

So when you visit your moms this Sunday, give them a tighter hug & double kisses on both cheeks. The extra will be for us who can only call home.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!

When we were just dating, I complained a lot to hubby that he’s always staring at the girl (sometimes girls) across us from the jeepney, from the street, from the restaurant, etc. etc. It used to bother me so much.

One time I told him off again (always away from the perpetrators) & said I feel disrespected when he looks at other women in my company. What he said shut me up, at least for a while. He said he never tells me what I can & cannot do and he never complained when I ogle men when he’s with me. I probably looked shocked (to hear the truth & that he notices pala) because he said it was okay, that he understands as I don’t engage in flirting anyway. It was akin to window shopping because you see something you “appreciate”. So like the mature twenty-something that I were in those days, I said fine as long as we understand each other he is not to look at other women when I’m around!

These days when we a sexy woman passes I check my hubby now & again. Sometimes I ask him a trick question like “she’s got nice shoes, ‘no?” He’s learnt so his answer will invariably be similar to “whose shoes?“

Do your men ogle? Do you ogle? Are you bothered?

I’m nearly 31 & sometimes I hate to admit it, but I look at men in their 20’s and I can only shake my head. So many men, but I have let the time pass – naughty!

It used to be worse than this but then we didn’t have a child. I’d leave at 7am, come home at 7pm. Six years ago he was still a junior nurse and he’d be given night shifts. It means if this is first night, then I just might catch him at the door, him going out, I just arrived. The following morning, I’d be gone when he comes home. If he’s on night for several days the scene I just described will repeat itself again and again.

Now, we’re both very tired from work. He’s a senior staff and is often in-charge of their ward. I’m managing (trying to) a test team from officially 9am to 530pm, which in reality is from the time I leave the house (7am) to the time I leave the office (6pm, on average) & some weekends, some work-related readings at night etc. And since we’re getting old and we do lack exercise, our bedtime has can be 9pm or 8pm. We’re both up by 6am, otherwise our son will start fussing.

We are with each other for 30 minutes in the morning and for 2-3 hours at night, from Monday to Friday, whether its his day off or not. On weekends, I get to spend as much time with my son as possible. I’d let him stay up late (i.e. 9pm) at times. But with hubby, it’s a different story. His weekend off’s are so few and far between, I’d come to cherish it. I’d look forward to it and wish that we have money to spare so we can always throw caution to the wind and just enjoy the 48 hours we’ve been given. But reality is, we’ve got a lawn that needs mowing, he’s tired and wants to sleep longer in the morning and some more in the afternoon. We’d cuddle and snore together, and that’s it most of the time.

I miss having time for each other when life was simpler and we’ve got nothing. No land deeds, no savings account (we still don’t by the amount that’s there), no son. But then we’d end up tired anyway but without our joy.

We need to take a LOOONNGGG break. A month or two with no work, no plans, no one to see, nothing to do. We’ll just hang with each other. Take long walks. See a film, play pool. Swim. Relax. Cuddle. Kiss. Stay in bed naked.

Maybe next year.

Mababaw lang kaligayahan naming mag-asawa. Maski nung nagd-date pa lang kami pareho kaming di mahilig sa magagarbong lugar. As long as the music is good, the beer is flowing, okay na kami. We don’t hang in Makati or Ortigas too much, the crowd’s too hypocritical. That was our opinion, or maybe we just felt out of place.

Instead we go to Manila, Malate was our favorite place. We just hop from bar to bar. Di pa nga kilala yung iba. Minsan dinadayo naman yung restaurant sa tapat ng PGH (i forgot the name), we always go for the grilled squid and the chocolate milkshake. On Thursday, we go to novena for St Jude (malapit sa Malacañang) & after mass, we stop by the streetfood vendors. Matakaw ako dyan, kumakain kami ng kwek-kwek, bituka, fried bituka… Ang ayaw nyang ipakain sa akin yung dugo. Gross ba?

I love those times.

Ang luho lang naman namin talaga e pagkain. We love trying all sorts of restaurants. Hanggang ngayon tuloy habit na namin magbasa ng mga restaurant reviews, kahit di naman kami lagi nagpupunta.

Things haven’t changed much for us. May anak na kami, may monthly mortgage, maraming bayarin… But we’re still happily simple. Siempre may “illusions of grandeur” din, pero those would often revolve around our dream home in Pinas when we retire, our dream retirement, our son’s future, maybe a future daughter… Mababaw nga e.

Today’s Valentine’s but it’s not something I’d want to celebrate. I keep telling my husband, he should show me his love everyday without fail, not just once a year. At dahil simple nga kami, binigyan ko na lang sya ng £2 pang-kape nung inihatid nya ako kanina. Sabi ko “happy balentayms”, I’m sure touched sya.

When 2006 arrived I told myself I’ll be married for 5 years in March. Then “the” day arrived & I just totally forgot! I was so wrapped up in my tiny world of work & my toddler’s tantrums I didn’t even get my husband a card.

He arrived near midnight & when he tried to gently wake me up with a kiss, I nearly gobbled him with disturbed-sleep’s anger. Ang sweet ko ‘no? When I got up I saw a silver package on another pillow & then it hit me, ngek anniversary pala namin! I hang my head in shame.

We’re not rich so the gift wasn’t expensive or glamorous or extraordinary. But my husband’s gesture & his effort to be better at this relationship-building thing is priceless.

I know we still have a lot of growing up to do even if we’re already in our late 20’s. Sabi nga marami pa kaming kakaining bigas. So my wish for our anniversary is that our bond to become stronger, that our patience, respect & love for another keep us together for the rest of our lives.

A post by J about his Chinese astrology prompted me to check what fortunes, or miseries, are instore for Dragons like me this Year of the Dog.

Checking this website, reaffirms what I already know, which will probably apply to all working people, - that I am stressed & tense & that I should relax. The text goes on to say that my patience is being tested, well if you scroll thru my posts it’s apparent that I have no patience left.

The yadi-da of the site “prediction” though is a bit scary because it also points out I need a friend & it is sad, because I do. And when it mentioned love, it said “In love, particularly, you’ll show no desire to ask yourself unnecessary questions.” - so what are the necessary questions that I should have been asking then? Because I don’t even have the desire to talk about love.