I received the same email from my sisters about this Chinese couple who had a May-December affair.

I proceeded to reply, talking about Joel and I, but I ended on a different love story.

I miss her with all my being it hurts even after 6 years.

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After weeks of speculation and doubts, we’re finally going. Hubby had dreamt of visiting the Theater of Dreams eversince landing on English soil. And this Saturday it’s finally going to happen.

We’re going to say hello and goodbye at the same time.

It’s Ole Gunner Solskjaer  (sols-shire) testimonial and we’ve been lucky enough to grab some seats before the Norwegians take them all.

I have to confess though, I’m not really a football fan. I’m not averse to it. I know some players, I know what an offside rule is (I should say I *believe* I know…, but I can survive an entire season without it. I do not need the most expensive cable channel on my subscription.

But Hubs is a different matter. We got Sky just because… He has x-number of Utd shirts. He shouts & jeers at home or in the pub during matches — and these even when he’s alone! Yes, he goes to pubs & communes with like-minded individuals and bonds with other Red Devil supporters.

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Hubby’s been complaining that his sides hurt. He managed to go to work on Saturday. We went to church on Sunday, did a little food shopping, he even did the ironing (yes, he doesn’t shy away from housework).

Then I got a voicemail from him, he said he didn’t go to work today because he’s in too much pain. Thankfully (!) he got an appointment from the GP and even more fortunate it was with the “better” doctor. He got the BUPA referral and a scan request for his gall bladder. Now if he waits for NHS that will mean weeks for the results and weeks, if not months, for the consultant.

He’s due for his scan tomorrow and the only consultant near our place is available Wednesday. Hubby says if his pain becomes worse he will go to A&E (that’s the British ER). I asked him if he wants me to be there with him tomorrow. He doesn’t answer straightaway & I don’t look at him.

Deep inside me, I know he wants me to come. I want to come. BUT our Phase 1 release is this week, Friday. It’s problematic and I am needed at work. I feel responsible. BUT I am feeling horrible just thinking about it.

Hubby releases me and initially ventures the scan will be over by 10am. I know though that since the hospital is 2.5 hours away, I will not be in the office until high noon. I will be missing at least 3 meetings and the leave of absence will be without warning as the appointment was only made tonite.

So I asked him in vain really. I feel rotten, my priorities are skewed and the worst thing is I do this almost every month. I feel horrible when I can’t be with my family every time they’re sick. I cannot tend to Kelvin every day. I cannot tend to my husband every day.

Times like these, I really feel that I did bite more than I can chew.

It was grey, wet and freezing but Kelvin was not complaining. I don’t think he registered any discomfort. It was always “Where next?” after each ride or stop. You ask him to pose for pictures and his face will be in your direction and his eyes looking somewhere else.

Legoland Windsor is perfect for our little man. Most of the rides were for kids his age (or height). It was perfect hubby and I because we went solo, that is no family friends were there. Else, we’d have trouble with Kelvin wanting to go on rides he cannot possibly join with the big boys.

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After visiting Anette & Josh, Kelvin’s remaining holiday was still packed with fun activities. I planned to really enjoy my two-week break with him to the max. One of our regular haunts in August was Kidspace in Romford. Together with his Pinoy friends, we spent days jumping, crawling, sweating and pigging out.

Kidspace is really perfect for kids with boundless energy. We celebrated Kelvin’s second birthday there & even the parents enjoyed themselves. There is a special section for babies. There is a football area, a mini-racing track, a wall climbing section, and a sky trail. During busy times, the place is just buzzing with energy, it’s hard not to get infected with the laughing and friendly shouting. The “Thunderball City” is the centre of activity where kids (and adults) can “hit” each other with soft balls. There is a huge cannon that blasts balls everywhere, there are “machine guns” from 3-levels where you can target people above & below. There is a timed-net that showers everyone with balls. The City is also connected to the entire place (huge), from top to bottom, via huge slides of different structures, and climbing frames.

If I were to spend every single day in that place I wouldn’t need to diet! Unfortunately, the place serves yummy food, too! During Kelvin’s 2nd birthday party we booked everyone for a “make your own pizza” theme party. It was really super. Then they provided the adults with finger foods which turned out to be organic breads and dips. It was truly unforgettable. I have to scour my files at home to search for some pictures & put them up here.

When Kelvin was younger he’d resist every attempt to leave the place. But in August because his ate and kuya’s were there, he’s happy to go anywhere. He was even happy to leave the play area & eat! Unbelievable.

It was unfortunate that Daddy had to work. He missed out on so many things (more posts to follow promise) during the school break. After a month, he’s still muttering about booking leaves next year. I felt bad for him but I felt too good to really care. I’m not callous, I just felt it was my chance to really bond & give my son the time of his life after being a half-half mum to him. You know working full-time even if I say we have quality time during weekends, it’s still guilt-inducing not to spend every minute of the day with my growing son.

I am also so happy and very fortunate that our new Filipino friends’ kids are very accommodating with my toddler. Hubby & I just love seeing him enjoy his time with the bigger kids. He feels part of a clique now. It’s a great bargaining chip, too. We can get Kelvin to do almost anything as long as we say we’re going to see his Kuya or Ate.

I forget the number of times I have read the importance of external support & influence on children as they grow. The dread I used to feel about moving away from most of our initial Filipino community has been replaced with relief & gratitude. If none of these guys move away, I’m confident that making Kelvin more aware of his Filipino roots will be easier. Plus, he and I got friends for life.

Needless to say though, we have started teasing Sherry that either Kelvin or PJ can court her daughter Rana. But Ate Nimfa insists that Kelvin is too young, so that leaves PJ room. Yes, it was my fault the teasing started but Ate Nimfa’s comeback sent all of us reeling.

I leave you with these pictures from our play time. Expect more posts about what Kelvin was up to during his 2-week school break!

If I am paid to post I’d be fired by now. Please bear with me as I try to catch up with the tags and the comments and my bloghops. I will be one month late in almost everything, so para kayong nagbabasa ng replays.

Anyhow, the first two weeks of August was Kelvin’s school holiday. I packed it with a number small activities to keep us occupied and to make the short break count. Unfortunately, Daddy had to work because after the 2-week break, Kelvin was due for his glue ear surgery (more on that later) and Daddy will take charge then.

My high school barkada, Anet, and Josh were kind enough to invite us over for a 2-day trip to Silverstone, the home of F1 racing circuit. Sayang tapos na ang qualifiers pero okay na din at least na-solo namin yung lugar. Josh managed to sweet talk some garage manager and they let us in the warehouse where they were preparing for the A1 racing. Anong A1? Malay ko din. I had to look it up. Apparently A1 represents nations not car-makers. Boring! Pero nun’ ka, hubby, Josh and Kelvin enjoyed the trip. They keep on touching and looking at engines/bodies/paints, etc etc. Para sila’ng nasa candy store. I could only gawk.

At first I thought the trip will bomb. First, because hubby missed the train. Unbelievable because we got on the train at the same time. But he has to have a paper to read, he got off and it took him 20 minutes to get one freaking tabloid, by which time we were already far away. Kelvin was shouting out the window “run dad run” as if he can even see hubby. When I said his dad was in trouble, he told me not to worry as the police will help his dad! Natawa na lang ako. Pasalamat talaga asawa ko, by the time Kelvin and I got off the destination my temper was gone.

It also threatened to rain. The sky was Britain-typical, i.e. dull and grey, up until 1pm. Thankfully the sun shone through by 2pm, just in time for our garden-park walks.

The highlight of our trip was the visit to Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of Sir Winston Churchill. Only when I visit places like these do I get hit by how “old” and properly recorded England’s history is. We paid for a tour and saw animatronics that explained how the Palace came to be. The puppets were okay and the tale was interesting enough. The first door they had us open though scared more than half the audience. We were expecting a light-hearted take but were greeted by an eerie room with ghost sounding moans! Kelvin was terrified, I thought we’d have to leave. Thankfully it was only for a minute then it became boring enough for Kelvin to ignore.

I’m not big on interior-tours so that part of the trip was jus okay. But the Palace grounds was something else. It boasts of several themed gardens. We went through a maze as well, which tired everyone we encountered. It’s not fun anymore if you have spent more than 30 minutes going around in circles in 30C heat! But Kelvin had the most fun in the Adventure Playground with wooden houses and climbing frames, not to mention the lifesize chess sets and the crazy golf. I liked the man-made waterfall and the rose garden. They also have a butterfly house where I saw one butterfly with tattered wings. There was a “lakeside walk” which we didn’t have the energy to visit. Actually, we didn’t visit two other gardens just because our feet were sore! We were all blatantly unfit, too. I’m sure we missed a lot more spectacular view of the 2100 acre grounds.

I’m really thankful with digital cameras. If I didn’t have one, I would have used up more than two rolls of 36-shot films just on trees alone. I was fretting on what pictures to upload for your viewing pleasures but perhaps in agitation I ended up with the following and taking my cue from Ana, here’s a slide for a neat presentation.

Thanks to Anet and Josh for a wonderful time and super-yummy food!

Dear friend,

Nung weekend para kong may flu dahil sa severe symptoms ng hay fever. Di ako makakilos, even combing my hair was a huge effort as my scalp felt really tender. Then the limited breathing. Maaawa ka sa akin, I was breathing through my mouth for 2 days!!! There were times I really felt like dying. I felt guilty too that I couldn’t play with Kelvin properly. Talagang telly-time lang sya. Friday night I planned on taking him to the town fair and even to the cinema, I didn’t count on my “enemy” arriving on Saturday morning. KAINIS.

This morning when I was about to leave for work, Joel said Kelvin has temp last night. I felt my stomach lurch. If Kelvin is not better this evening that will mean one of us will have to take a leave of absence. And that thought made me feel worse because ideally when Kelvin has a temp, we let him stay at home for 2 days. But if we keep on doing that & he gets fever at least once a month, that would mean our work-attendance will be blatantly pockmarked.

Nakakaloka.

I really hope Kelvin recovers today. I blame the stupid weather… Come on sky, where’s our Summer sun & warmth?!

As for me, it looks like I will have to wait a little longer for the hay fever vaccine to become available in the UK. Crap.

So how was your weekend again?

Lovingly yours,
me

I am from an OFW family. Tatay left for Saudi when I was 6-7 years old. He retired when I was 16 and about to leave for college. To say that I didn’t really know him until then was an understatement. It was a shock to both of us. I knew then that I don’t ever want to break up my family for an overseas work. It’s all of us or nothing.

But I ate my words. We left our 1 month old baby in the care of my parents. I agreed with hubby when he said we need to recoup, sort out our mortgage and take Kelvin back after a year. We were in pain, but I knew it was the right decision. Perhaps to justify it even further, I know a lot of Pinoys were doing the same thing. Still it hurt though when people openly criticise our decision, as if they can help us with childcare. I have to put on a brave face in every gathering. I cannot show that I cry at night or on the bus on the way home to an empty house. I cannot tell anyone that I want to kill myself on my son’s first Christmas because we’re not together. I have to be brave & strong for us.

When my son was nearly one, we went home to bond with him & prepare him for the flight back. I cannot tell you the emotions that surged through me when I first saw him at NAIA. But I can tell you the pain that ripped hubby & I many times when he won’t come near us. For three days we endured sleepless nights because he won’t go to sleep when we try to put him to bed. He’d wake up several times at night asking for his Lola. We nearly gave up when Kelvin lost his voice from too much crying. Finally on the fourth day he became used to me. He allowed me to give him a bath without a fight. We went to bed with no problem & he slept soundly next to Daddy & myself.

Our flight back to England was wonderful. Arriving home he immediately settled in. On his first week here he even managed to walk on his own! Wala na kasing karga ng karga. He was always smiling. He always wakes up in a happy mood. I was in Heaven.

Then reality arrived soon enough. The first 2 weeks of nursery was pretty bad. But that wasn’t the problem, he got sick too often. I think he caught everything that every kid in their room have. For the 6 months that we paid for his place, he probably spent just 3 months of it in there. We were constant visitors to the GP and the A&E (i.e. ER). It was a struggle to keep him “plump” as he’d lose weight the instant he falls sick. Hubby & I rotated our absences from work. Sometimes I manage to work from home. But still we never felt like giving up to send him back to Pinas. No. He will stay with us, we’re happy, he’s happy.

Then I received a call from one of my sisters. It is expected that they will worry about Kelvin but her words were “napapabayaan nyo na ang bata, dapat hindi trabaho ang inuuna nyo“. To be accused of neglect by other people is bad enough but my own family? I just dropped the call. Our oldest sister called to explain that the words didn’t come out right. I think they did. I didn’t talk to ditse for a while but I do know she had only the best intentions for her nephew.

Hubby & I were killing ourselves taking care of our son. We were looking at all sorts of avenue to get him seen by the right people. We were spending serious money on his health & his care. We are good parents to our son. He stays in the nursery because that is the reality here in England. We don’t have a Lola to rely on. We are doing our best, no one can say otherwise.

These days Kelvin is thriving. He’s been with his current nursery for over a year. He’s developing well even given his persistent glue ear. We managed to take a break in Pinas in 2006 & this time around, he wouldn’t go near his Lola & aunties, but only for a few hours.

It seems like all those hurt happened a long time ago. It’s funny because it’s only been three (3) years.

Hubby’s auntie is leaving next month. We gave it a try but it didn’t work out so back to Pinas she goes. It means I’ll have to cook during week nights for next day’s meal. It also means we cannot just book our GP or dentist or our social life as easily. Even more so it means I would have to ask my bossing for flexible working hours. You’ve heard it before “ang hirap ng walang katulong”.

But as I keep telling hubby, if these westerners can do it, why can’t we? Actually, we managed to do it for 2 years, auntie was only here for 5 months. It’s just the lazy bones have been too comfy in their current state. The looming “inconveniences” are the real killer. Whether you’re in Pinas or abroad we all have the same domestic chores to finish coming home from work. It sucks but that’s life.

So this early, hubby & I are already in transition phase. He has to pick up the ironing as with my busted elbow I cannot do that anymore. We also need to synchronise our schedules & activities. One example, in days he takes Kelvin to the nursery, I need to be in the office by 7am so I can leave by 4′ish & pick up our son. But hubby also must not forget to take out the meat/fish from the freezer so it’s thawed by the time our son is in bed (8pm). By 8pm I should have finished reading the story for the night, proceed to fold the dried clothes, put more laundry in the washing & cook the meal for tomorrow. Around 9pm hopefully this time around I am still okay to relax or do some exercise.

Well, Houston it’s back to normal.

If I could be half as good as my Nanay in being a mother and a third as good at being a wife, I will be the luckiest & happiest person on Earth.

She is selfless. She always sees the good in people. She thinks everyone is pretty especially if they are kind. She is kind to a fault. She readily forgives. She is made of steel but is soft & sweet like a marshmallow.

My Nanay’s attained “just” gradeschool education. But she is the wisest woman I know. Her words ring true and they’re meant to strengthen me when I’m flailing. Her words endure and they’re meant to guide me when I’m lost.

Nanay is a feminist. She told me once that women’s issues need to be heard in government. The labour parties have enough representation, she told me to support women’s & children’s causes instead. Why didn’t I think of that?

My Nanay doesn’t know how to use the computer so she will never get to read this online. I miss her everyday these last 6-7 years, her cooking, her hug, her smile.

So when you visit your moms this Sunday, give them a tighter hug & double kisses on both cheeks. The extra will be for us who can only call home.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!