I was thinking of how to best open this post… Should I grovel? Should I detail my husband’s diagnosis-operation-recovery?

Maybe I should just say - THANK YOU - to all those who commented, emailed, SMS’d their concerns.

A thousand pardons please for ignoring your blogs and not bothering to answer all your comments.

When I joined my current job I knew we will be insanely busy this year, but I didn’t realise I’d be up to my neck with family-related situations, too. So Blogging had to take the back seat. Family and work come first.

There are a couple of things I need to catch-up on quick but I have no idea how fast I can find out:

1. Have I been kicked out of PMN?

2. Has Sassy released her cookbook yet?

3. What is Angel’s book about?

4. How is Ana’s pregnancy?

5. How is J’s lovelife?

But first newsflash: We’re not going to Pinas this year. We cancelled it due to hubby’s operation. We’re going home next year daw.

So there, first post done & it’s about thanking all of you for checking my blog out & for forgiving me for not visiting your sites. Of course I take it I’m forgiven na! hehe

If I count how many times I’ve wished I never have to work, I’d run out of numbers. Today is one of those days when I seem to have a weekend-hangover. The sun is pleasantly bright but the air is a bit chilly. It’s just a perfect day out. I’ve been at work since 7am & all I could think about is how I wish I can spend the day, with hubby & son, strolling in the park.

Then there would be days when my toddler’s sick & I wish all the more that I could stay at home & just be with him. Or days when he gets frustrated ’cause he can’t form words & I wish I could be there 24/7 for him & tutor him. But I know I can’t & it will not happen. Also the practical me shoves my dreams away as domestic chores will not disappear when I’m at home. I’d probably be frustrated at home too because nowadays during weekends, I spend at least 20 hours doing housework instead of “relaxing” with my kid. Yes there are days we do relax & play, but those are exceptions.

Maybe I have been born lazy because I feel like I’ve been working all my life. I never get to “chill” and spend my savings on an around-the-world-trip. Shortchange? Not really. I am just in a pensive mood.

This week has been the most exhausting of my entire working life. I have a reminder for lunch out since Monday & I never got to go out! I keep changing the reminder to the next day & now it’s Friday & hey I’m still trapped in my desk.

I’m so tired when I get home that hubby has been pestering me for sex & I’ve turned him down at least 6 times. One point he was climbing on top when I woke up & though we do that to each other before, now it just annoyed me.

The breaking point was this morning. The English weather is at its best. The sky was gray & the rain was non-stop since last night. I didn’t want to get up then my 2-year old threw up, then he wouldn’t let me clean him, then he wouldn’t lie down when I need to put his nappy on… Oh gaaaddd. I wanna shout “the stress! the stress!” & just run out the house laughing. At least when I reach the asylum I might be at peace.

But then we have a long weekend as Monday is bank holiday. So I guess I ought to feel better now it’s nearly 5pm & I leave at 6pm. All I have to do stop anticipating next week’s madness.

SkyOne has been showing Simpson reruns. One episode showed Marge very harassed and fed-up & finally went for a break by lonesome. Sure it must have cost them Homer’s full-salary for the month, but it looked so worth it. And I envy her.

I want to take a break from work& from home-work. I want a full-week where I get pampered & attended to. I want to be on my own & not think of anyone else. I don’t want to be burdened by my responbilities. Pwede ba ‘yun?

Or I can use a MAJOR increase in salary. That will do as well.

Nope that’s not a spelling mistake… I am multi-asking & also multi-tasking.

Us, corporate-slaves, do not have much choice aside from resigning. So I’ve got 3 concurrent projects to look forward to. Hey before I was complaining I’ve got nothing to do… Now Heaven heard me and voila! I can now look forward to headaches & stress.

I will be getting help. We’ll hire a contractor to run all my tests while I continue to churn out all the specifics for the other projects. So fingers & toes crossed, everything will be okay. Maybe I can still go home by 5pm… maybe I need not dread weekend-work.

I am multi-asking my family, my bosses, myself. Tolerance, patience, assistance & peace. It goes without saying that I am asking for help. I’m no superwoman. But hey I chose to be a working mum so I’m not really complaining.

It’s a mixed feeling. Excited, terrified, anxious… Love the challenge, fear failure. I need to come out of this tops!