I did nothing but review & comment on documents since Monday! I barely managed to work on my actual deliverable (a traceability matrix). True the files I’m reading are not even thick but I find it really hard to “read & understand” because my sinuses are so blocked, I feel so lightheaded. Sometimes I feel like passing out. It’s taking me twice as long to get anything done, except for blogging.

I hope this doesn’t continue for too long. I need my wits in order to function properly. I’m sorely tempted to take my work home just to get moving as I know I’ll be swamped soon.

I took Pining’s advice to heart & have started on a no dairy diet. I now drink my tea black, no milk, no sugar. Sugar is not dairy I know but it’s less calorie intake as I plan to copy Melissa’s South Beach Diet. I also checked the net for more food related allergies & found that I should stay clear of food additives, too, as they inhibit the anti-histamines from working. It looks like I’m going to work harder to beat this Hay Fever season (2007 is set to be the worse on record).

Just as well I follow the above list, I’ll end up healthier & fit enough to run for a bus without wheezing. The thing is hubby bought some freshly-made siopao last night & I gave in & ate one for breakfast this morning. South Beach says no carbs for 2-weeks. I told myself it’s my last f*ck before the final goodbye. I plan on disposing of the sweets & other tempting goodies by giving them away to neighbourhood kids. Then hubby reminded me that I should not stop baking & cooking for them. Ah the horrors. I need He-Man strength & resolved.

I cannot concentrate at work. I’m too sleepy & a little bit traumatised by the failure of the public transport last night. Imagine, there was power failure on ONE line and it affected the ENTIRE network! It took me 4 hours to get home! I was so eager to get home as hubby’s off tomorrow which meant we can spend some and also my boy was being very cute when I left in the morning & I wanted to make it up to him by extending his bedtime & do some sticker game first.

My hell started because of sheer stupidity. I got to the rail station with delays already occuring, thinking it’s too far to walk back to the underground station near my office I stuck it out & got the first train available. That was my biggest mistake. Perhaps I was so agitated, my brain blocked the fact that the nearest underground station was just next door! Had I thought of it, I would have been on time or at least just an hour late.

Anyway, the train has been in one station for 40 minutes when I decided to take the DLR (similar to Pinas’ LRT). It was a smooth ride. Then I switched to the Jubilee Line which was even better. I was feeling very positive when I immediately got a District Line. I thought nearly home then, just 6 more stops. Actually that was my nightmare starting.

The tube stopped in-between station. After 15 minutes the lights were switched off, okay fine it’s only dusk & we were told they needed to cut the power off to let the c2c train through. Okay no griping from me, I just want to get home.

After 30 minutes, the driver asked whether there was any underground staff. Two came. After an hour still nothing & it was now dark. The driver switched on 2 lights in each carriage. Then a passenger learnt from another passenger in the next station that the c2c which passed us was instructed to halt so we could proceed, what did the passengers do? They jumped onto the track! Obviously causing more problems.

To cut the story short, we ended up on the tracks ourselves. On reaching the nearest station we were told there was no replacement bus to take us forward! By this time the entire District Line was suspended so the buses were full coming from the City. I had to elbow my way in the second bus that came along. It was 945pm when I reached a connecting bus stop. I just missed my bus! I waited for another 30 minutes (longer I think) in freezing wind, for my next bus.

I was anxious, I was hungry & I was cold! Hubby was waiting for me in a parking lot when I got off the bus. I was so hungry I stopped & bought some chips to sustain my 3 minute drive home — I can’t wait that long anymore. When I went upstairs hubby told me my son was saying I’m gone because they left the train station without me (I told them to go home by 730pm). He woke up & asked for water, then told me to lie down next to him. So the three of us slept together in one bed for the first time in many months.

It would have a good ending to a sordid day but I had a nightmare. I dreamt women were pulling out their placentas & the placentas, which looked like frog eggs, were rubbed on walls. They were mad & they were killing their unborn children. Where did this come from? I’m guessing I’m worrying about our decision to stop my injectables. I don’t want to get pregnant accidentally.

The madness probably relates to the managers of London’s public transportation.

“Working from home” ako ngayon. Dahil di ako marunong mag-drive at dahil umuulan (as usual), tumawag ako sa regular cab service na ginagamit namin para ihatid ang bebe ko sa nursery. Dumating ang driver at ito yung kinaiinisan kong driver nila (halos lahat ng driver nila, ok naman, yung iba first name basis na kami, regular customer nga e). This guy once ko pa lang nagamit, nainis na ako dahil una ang dumi ng sasakyan tapos mal-edukado pa.

Getting off, I gave £4.50 without asking for the fare dahil nga araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos e nagka-cab ako, so alam ko na. Aba e bakit daw? Dapat daw £5. Sabi ko alam ko ang fare dahil regular akong customer, then asked him where is your meter for him to charge more? I told him I will give him the rest if he presents me with the receipt. Get out daw sabi ng bastos na Eastern European. Next time daw e gumamit na ko ng ibang cab service, sabi ko “get the f*ck out of here thief”.

Ang aga-aga nanginginig ako. Yung ibang cab driver kapag mababait binabayaran ko ng £5 parang tip na lang, wag na kong suklian. Itong isang assh*le na ito, ang dapat ibigay suntok. I called their operator to complain, ewan ko kung ano naman ang mangyayari dun. The point is they have an unscrupulous driver who likes to cheat by not using the meter. He’ll deal with it “daw”. HMP!

Then this afternoon may tumawag sa aking ahente, job opening daw. Sabi ko tawag ako uli after I look at the job spec. As it turns out, the company is not the place I’d want to work for. So I told him, naku I’m after big money daw ba “is that it” sabi ‘no. Dahil hindi ako bastos & alam ko nang maraming badgers sa mga job agencies, sabi ko na lang it’s not about the money but their line of business. Ngayon sabi ko kung upset ka kako e wala akong magagawa but I don’t like wasting my time kako nor of other people at ayoko kakong pinipilit akong ibigay ang CV ko dahil lang gusto ng agent. Nagkalma naman ang unggoy ire-refer daw nya ko sa ibang colleague nya.

Eto tumawag ang colleague, gaming industry, sabi ko sige padala nga details sa akin para matinggan ko. The story is this with most job agents I wouldn’t hear from that agency again dahil ib-block na ko nung dimuho na yan. Pero eto kasi, nauna talagang tumawag sa akin yung colleague nya sabi ko lang tumawag later dahil busy ako. Then tumawag ang unggoy ang sabi nya bakit daw di sya sinabihan na tatawagan ako e team daw sila. Obviously nagkakasulutan sila so inunahan nya yung kasama nya by sending me his client’s requirement via email knowing na yung kasamahan nya tatawag mamaya pa.

See? Sama ng ugali talaga. How can I trust him to seek the best options for me? That’s what their job is to represent both sides, but this guy is greedy.

Ibig-ibig ng masira ng araw ko kung hindi lang natutuwa ako at darating ang tita namin bukas plus bukas as Sabado, tapos naka-off ako ng Mon to Tues! YEHEY.

You’re supposed to post something positive or at least “something nice” after the hols but not me.

Kelangang mag-rant ako.

I spent nearly £30 on stamps for the Christmas cards I queued for & posted last year - 2 weeks before the Big Day! Yet none of the Philippines-destined cards arrived. Where are they?? For Pete’s sake, 2006 is the worst year. I’ve already cut down on the number of recipients since in 2005 25% of my cards were deemed lost. This time all of them are MIA (missing in action)?

Sabi ng pamilya ko sa Nueva Ecija may news nga daw weeks before XMas na may mga letters bound for Cabanatuan that were dumped in a certain fishpond. Di na ko magtataka kung yung ibang letters ko di man lang makasakay ng van going to Nueva Ecija. Take for example an SSS form I sent my sister. Nakalimutan na naming i-follow up sa isa’t isa. Three months after I’ve sent it, sabi ng Nanay ko bakit daw di ko na pinadala?? Gulat ko siempre. I had to resend a copy which hey surprise suprise, di din nakarating!

May la-lala pa ba sa Postal Service natin na halos lahat ng kilala kong OFW e takot gamitin? This year? No XMas card, e-card na lang!

I mentioned in my previous post that while we were in India, we were having meetings during dinner. Isa sa mga topics naman ay kung paano namin maaayos ang current firefighting situation namin, lagi pang delayed dahil sa totoo lang e poor planning. Anyway yung top bossing namin 3 libro ang binabasa nya tungkol sa bagong methodology na gustong nyang i-adapt namin. Talaga naman para ko uling nakaupo sa CMSC 121 (automata) namin, yung puro theoretical?

O sige at least iniisip ko hindi ako ang kelangang magbasa. I only get the summary & the “juicy” portions.

Tapos on several occasions, at least 4 of them would quote from 1 or 2 books that they’ve read. Merong fan base sa amin si Joel Spoolsky. Saka may binili daw yung CEO namin na libro na sobrang ganda tipong topic namin sya sa breakfast, sa van on the way to work, sa work, sa van on the way to the hotel, sa dinner, sa plane… sa panaginip ko… Pero totoo naman this last book is a good read, by definition a good read to me is naaaliw ako, my head doesn’t ache with too many concepts I don’t understand. In short hindi sya textbook.

Then last week I have a surprise waiting on my desk! Guess what? Merong librong nag-aantay sa akin na binili ni top bossing. Hindi ko pa nga tapos yung “world is flat” e!

I know I should be grateful because I can only improve with all these learning. Pero ayoko ng pinupwersa sa akin yung ganitong babasahin lalo na at wala naman akong downtime sa opisina to read an effing textbook. Ibig sabihin “read it at your leisure” e yun na nga ginagawa ko sa libo-libong (exag) requirement ducments namin ‘no.

So after a week, nagiging pabigat lang ‘tong librong ito sa akin. Grrr.

I am so tired. We’ve been so busy at work for the last 2 weeks I feel like my batteries are drained. I can barely stay awake at 9pm!

We booked a few friends for a BBQ tomorrow during England’s first World Cup match & I am so looking forward to it. True I’ll be tired at the end of day, I will do most of the cooking and preparation but it’s a welcome break after walking like a zombie.

After a gruelling interview today I got a call from hubby who sounded very desperate. He broke the new grass cutter he bought yesterday! Then our old mower broke down. Now he wants to buy a new mower & is ashamed to go back to the store to claim a new grass cutter because he said he was too “stupid” to use it. I calmly laughed it off & told him to just buy a new mower but do get a replacement for the cutter. That his is probably not a unique story as the entire country’s preparing for the biggest barbie of the year!

Then he said we should cancel the bbq altogether because he can’t do it. Do what? Mow the lawn which is just 70 feet long & probably just 12 feet wide. I got pissed. Who the heck is this baby throwing a tantrum for a mistake he’s done? Why am I married to this guy again?

It’s summer & the sun’s up until 9pm & it’s there again by 4am, blinding me. Of course, the season brings misery to me with the onset of hayfever. Everyday since the end of May I have wanted to pluck out my eyes! I content myself with furious scratching, which of course makes it worse but gad-darn-it! None of the 3-eyedrops I use have any long lasting effect so I drown my eyes every so often. Of course the specialists recommend you stay indoors when the pollen count’s high but that’s like saying I commit suicide.

Anyway so yesterday on my way to work at 6am, the sun was glaring down on me. I actually felt good, hayfever aside, when I felt something drop on my shoulder. I thought it was a seedling or insect but I couldn’t find any my body (or hair). I found the answer when I boarded the bus. I reached inside my bag & clutched my travelcard & - wham! I felt a gooey thing wrapped on my fingers! A bird expertly pooped inside my bag.

Good morning to me.

It was a sign of things to come that day. I was running like a headless chicken conducting interviews from 9am to 3pm. In between managing the testers & checking on their progress (if I don’t nothing gets done right - bad recruits?), I am also sat in the bug triage with our CTO & VP.

All throughout the day I wanted to slap someone & I really couldn’t hide my frustration (if not anger) at the contractors. Are they deliberately doing a bad job to antagonise me?

I hate confrontations. I get too emotional & when I’m really mad, tears fall without caution. It makes me appear weak.

But what I hate most is not coming up with retorts quick enough. I always feel like I have a big ‘L’ sign on my forehead.

So here is my sayang moment number 1:

I was 9-10 years old, in a pedicab. It was the start of the school year & a Philippine rainy season. An old man (probably in his 30’s) rode the same pedicab, he’s got splashes of mud on his trousers (so does everyone else). He turns to me and asks if I have some tissue & I said no. He comments “babae ka pa naman wala kang tissue“. I know I should say something but my tongue was unwilling to move, my brain was unwilling to work. I was indignant. When I got to school I was in a foul mood. And now, 20 years after, I’m still fuming hehehe

Sayang moment number 2:

I was 18-19 years old, a selective group of sisses in my academic org decided they had enough of me always preferring my then-boyfriend than our org. They ambushed me in what was supposed to be a girl’s nightout, they turned it into a bull session. I was the bull. The precious few members who tried to defend me were all powerless from the bullies. I was powerless & offered no defence, why?? Because I was stupid. I had my revenge the following day instead. But it was still too late. I still wished I said a million things to them that very night.

I thought the whole month’s gonna pass without any problems. But last weekend after a kiddie party, my son got sick. Hubby & I have to juggle work & nursing the little boy. There’s much discussion about who should stay at home. I insist I did last time & it’s his turn.

We’re both very busy. But of course I felt I deserved to work coz it’s my last 2 weeks & I’m still recruiting & training the testers. I feel guilty that I might leave the company in a lurch (yes I know I should be guilty of thinking that when my son is sick). Thankfully hubby’s got 2 days off so it wasn’t that bad. For his side, he insists he’s needed at the hospital coz he’s a “sister” & the rest of the staff are juniors.

The perils of parenthood with no grandparents as backup.

Anyway, two nights ago, my son was fighting with hubby to stay awake though he’s clearly sleepy. He hasn’t been eating well and… well, he’s got gastroentiritis, it’s not pretty.

I was groggy & tired from work, I just want to sleep. It was 8pm & was half-awake when my mobile phone rang. There were so many voices in the background all giggly & I thought maybe I know them, I just don’t recognize the number. A guy said hello & said “ayan na” & gave the phone to someone else. Still patient but yawning, I asked who it was. This time a Filipino girl answered, said my name & said “Nanay mo” (your mother) & started to giggle. I hang up.

We’re miles away from home (the Philippines) and Filipinos still waste each other’s time with crank calls. So two days later I remembered & gave the number a call. A girl answered & when I told her who I was she was very apologetic. She won’t say who she was except that she’s a nurse. I asked why she felt the need to call me at night to celebrate their drunken-ness & she started to stammer. Naman… We’re all trying to make a living far away from loved ones & you still get idiots following you around.

Negative muna

I can’t stand dopey people. I can take & even enjoy dopey conversations but not when the person you’re talking to actually thinks he/she’s being smart.

It is highly possible I’ve got an attitude problem but I have zero tolerance on stupidity. If you have shown someone how to work a kettle once, I’d expect them to know it in one second. It’s not that difficult unless you have a learning disability. But what I hate most are people who don’t listen but will nag you every minute to show them how it’s done - again.

I disdain dimwits. I cannot suffer fools. Yes I am acting all high & mighty but there is no worst torture for me than listening to stupid people who think they’re the bomb. And before anyone points it out, yes I can be stupid too.

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My lifetime’s work

I finally found time to put all my work files & extra-curriculars in one place. I have yet to back them up on a disc for safe keeping but I’m getting there. I was also able to collate my contact list from PAB to Outlook 2003 Contacts. Now all I need is to export them also for safe keeping.

Anyway I’ve been reading my works since 1997 & had a bit of flashbacks. I am getting old. Age shows in my works. I would like to say maturity but really the big change is my focus. Before it was all parties (& men) but now… Well some people will say focused on more boring stuff
:-)

The Little Prince would say “matters of consequence”. Time really flies.

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On the tube post…

When I was pregnant I started noticing expecting mums everywhere. There was a time I’d see at least 2 a day. I’m sure the Universe has been like this even before but, suddenly, I actually “see” them now. Since I have struggled getting a seat on the tube when my tummy was big enough for everyone to see, I am now courteous to the mums-to-be in giving away my seat whenever I can.

But then I committed the most embarrassing mistake I could. I offered a woman my seat when she was not pregnant at all! She didn’t correct me but when I looked again it was highly probable she was just having the same problem as me in the “extra pouch” department.

London Underground has started a button campaign that pregnant women can wear which announces their state to everyone & will give them “power” to boot anyone out of their seats. But it didn’t catch on. Women today are too proud. And most critics said it was too condescending to women. Oh well. Good intentions, bad move.

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My son, my son.

The light of my life made me really proud today & he doesn’t even know it. I’ve known Mother’s Pride since I gave birth. I know my son is special & he can be really cute & handsome. I am also aware he’s smart for his age… Ok Ok please let me go on. He’s my son! hehe

We arrived 10 minutes before the Nursery’s official opening time. We went to the reception instead, to escape from the freezing morning air. Sister Margaret arrived at the same time. She’s really nice, she knows all the kids in the nursery, as in individually not just by face. That’s no mean feat as there are least 50 kids at any given day.

Anyway it was too early and the staff were just having a morning chat. Kelvin, my boy, was looking around the place & was pointing to statues & other bric-a-bracs. Then I heard Sr. Margaret talking to one staff about Kelvin. She said (verbatim) “…he’s a really bright boy, at his age less than 2, you can tell. He’s always playing with puzzles & he puts the pieces in the right shapes…” At that point you can probably tell I was floating & beaming.

My son, my hero.