I have decided to change a couple of things in myself and in my life. Yeah, this is going to be a sappy post.

Q4 2008 my watch stopped ticking. After 26 years, I decided I don’t need one anymore. My mobile phone tells me the date and time anyway. I hate the habit I developed of always looking at my wristwatch when I’m not doing anything or worse when I’m doing something & I seem to time every action, every word.

I thought it would be difficult. I hate being late, I am a stickler for following schedules, but nothing has changed. I felt liberated. Okay I’m not completely free, I do check my phone for time. But now I’m not chained. When I’m in church or in a meeting, I don’t have the urge to whip out my phone ‘just to check the time’. I can concentrate more.

I have also made the biggest jump of my life. It’s a move I have never thought I will ever do.

I’ve become a Born-again Christian.

There are many definitions about what it means to be a born-again. Here are some. In Pinas they’re called by so many derogatory terms. People would say “ayan na yung praise-the-lord“. Praning.  I wasn’t very fond of them either. Some of them badger you, others walk and talk like you’re all condemned.  Sila lang ang masasagip.

I insisted that they have no monopoly over the term “Christian”. Catholics, Baptists, x-tists… We’re all Christians because we believe Jesus Christ is God’s Holy Son. Actually I still think this.

The difference though is the real acceptance. You know, accepting that He is your Saviour and accepting everything that follows after that declaration.

I have been feeling lost and without direction for a long time. The Sunday masses at the Catholic church weren’t sufficient. I tried to get in touch with some Catholic groups but to no avail.

It’s a long story how I have finally decided to make the jump of all jumps. But all I can say is I have never been happier and more at peace with myself  (and the world). Finally I really know I cannot control everything, I don’t need to. He’s in-charge.

I’m not holier than everyone else. I’m still me. I’m just better.

And you know what? I still want to change. There’s a lot of work to do.

We’re very close to either receiving a lifeline or receiving the dreaded redundancy letter.

I came in Monday and there was a huge browning map on a table near the boardroom. When I asked what it was for, they said it was the map of the DDay landing in Normandy that Bossing put there for everyone to see. Everyone meaning the German Bossing.

All PC huh? Jops folded it up.

So I have had two successful first stage interviews. I was confident, the situational questions brought out my seasoned expertise — naks! Then the agents called me this week and told me I’m not having further meetings with the people. Apparently they received more applicants than expected and a couple were more senior or more experienced than me. Dang!

God Blessing though both interviewers gave me glowing recommendations with the agents. Basically securing me a name recall in case they come across other job openings that might suit me. I had the presence of mind to tell one not to pigeonhole me with management positions, “I’m very much a hands-on tester. If you have a blah blah blah”. God’s will, I’m waiting for confirmation on my next interview given by this agent.

It’s not all rosy though, my third interview last week stank big time. But let’s focus on the positive here!

Next week, you and I will know if I will jobless next month. And God-willing, a week after, we will learn if I will be receiving my next paycheck from a better job.

——-

X’S

So… walang announcement. Wait daw kami nang 2 weeks pa. Aray.

On the bright side, lahat nang top bossing confident. Pati yung target funding positive ang sinabi. At least ang assurance niya kung matuloy ang deal ang financial support e 2 years hindi months or 1 year lang.

Sundan ang susunod na kabanata…

No one would want to be Gordon Brown. Since he took over from Blair, he received nothing but derision and faced the most challenging economic problem since the Great Depression.

It didn’t matter that his firm and decisive actions were not matched anywhere else. His government’s policies were good enough to not drag us further down. In fact recent report says the economy seems to be doing better.

After the expenses scandal, some more of his cabinet members resigned. “Good riddance”, I thought. But the rest of the media took a surprising turn. They derided Brown’s leadership that even his cabinet doesn’t have confidence in his leadership. Some of the members resigned with derision and clear intent to damage Brown’s precarious reputation… Has the world gone mad? These are the same people who charged us thousands of GBP for the upkeep of their garden and their husbands pornographic DVDs!

So Labour got slaughtered at the recent local and at the European Election. The racist party, BNP, got two places and UKIP actually placed second from the Tories.

Meanwhile, the Labour party was torn in half just days before the election. In the end Brown is still the PM and leader of the Labour Party. For how long, who knows. You have to admire his tenacity. I don’t know how he can sleep at night. OR even walk without fear of having another knife stuck in your back.

I like his policies. Cameron as an alternative just doesn’t fill me with hope. At this economic crisis, I want a qualified man of action. Brown’s first statement about Parliament reforms said he’ll get rid of sleaze and he did propose external audit for the expenses.

He needs a very good PR person. I wonder why he doesn’t hire one. Maybe he has one already and it’s clearly not working.