Kahapon nagkakandaiyak ako sa galit at inis. I felt like I was being castigated for something that wasn’t my fault. I probably misunderstood the directions but I certainly didn’t fail on reminding the correct people of what’s not getting done. To think it’s not my department anyway.

Bottomline is lalo akong nagagalit dahil I was completely paralyzed. I sat there stupefied and accepting of what was to come - more definitions on the workload.

I was probably so stressed that on my allergy-clinic visit later that day, I got so dizzy I have had to lie down.

This morning I sent an invite for a different topic and one replied ” …I don’t mind staying if the (sic) is a good reason why this cannot be done at an earlier time, or even on a different day.”

This guy is normally sardonic. Ignore the fact that he comes in very early and leaves early (like me on some days). Why would I need to justify his presence in a meeting??? Normal people would just request the meeting to be moved. Point.

Last night I kept rolling over my head what I’m going to tell my boss. I’m done with the crap I’ve been given. I laid out the procedure but he can find another lackey. I offer no added value to be in the middle of it, and I am certainly not gaining anything from it. I have better get my shit sorted for what I am really supposed to do.

Ayan, sounds perfect kasi ilang beses ko na ulit sa ulo ko. Kaya lang bad mood sya ngayon, sabi nung twin partner nya. I guess I will wait until next week after the Board meeting.

Akala mo siguro ang tapang-tapang ko pero umid pala ako. Ewan. Kulang pa ko sa bayag.

I was fighting back tears on the Tube yesterday morning as I read about Baby P’s months of torture at the hands of his mum, her boyfriend and even their lodger(!). It was unbearable and I find it hard to believe that anyone can be so cruel to a helpless child.

The articles say that baby P was always smiling. In his young mind, he probably thought pain and neglect is the norm.

Of course politicians are quick to react, dailies printing headline news, people demanding justice. But the as the Telegraph said this is not the first time it’s happened and it’s almost laughable it happened twice in the Haringey borough yet no one wants to take responsibility. The head of the child services even points a finger at the last doctor to see baby P before his death…

So many people failed him. His mum. His dad who takes care of him every few days. His neighbours. The government officials paid for by our taxes to protect him.

I cried to hubby last night, I couldn’t put into words why. Hormonal siguro ‘ko. To sleep better I prayed for his soul. But the nagging feeling returned this morning and I just had to hug pogiBoy before I left the house.

Apparently not.

At lunch, my colleague mentioned how one woman got on her bus on the way to work and started talking about the Obama’s election. A conversation started right there and then between complete strangers up until my officemate got off.

On the way home, a black woman got on my carrriage and just announced cheerfully “I am so happy”. Some people smiled back, one Asian guy asked why. She talked about the historic moment in the US and how this change should trigger not just political or economic change but individual change. Like saying “hi” and “smiling” at strangers, being courteous and generous. She said there’s no reason why the world cannot fight poverty if everyone just pitched in. Of course she says all these in kilometric sentences. But you get the drift.

At near 9pm, not everyone’s in the mood to chat so most of her lament fell on deaf ears. To which she asked to no one “Why is it that when someone acts like I did just now, being friendly and all, people thinks you’re crazy?” I said to her the only statement I blurted the entire trip “it’s not the norm”.

But she got it right. Wouldn’t it be great if Obama’s election triggers something even more meaningful for the entire world? Camaraderie and hope.

I don’t know how long the feeling of euphoria will last. I don’t know if Obama is aware of his election’s effect not just on the political scene. I don’t know if he’s really aware his success is a beacon not only for blacks but for everyone.

All eyes are on him and everyone will be watching, I hope he doesn’t disappoint.

——

As an aside all the UK dailies today published “souvenir” editions on the election. Election paraphernalia are selling fast on eBay. What does that tell you?

This morning I woke up early to catch the news, and there it was - Obama won!

I didn’t think he would, but I hoped. I’m not an American, I’m not a fan but his win means a lot to me. Parang message of hope. Sabi nang asawa ko yung campaign daw ni Obama parang campaign ni Erap. Read first before you balk at the thought.

The American people was sick of Bush and the current state of affairs in their economy. They wanted change and probably even if it was Clinton on the Democrat bill, they would still have gone for her. With Obama you get the sense of Robin Hood coming to protect the poor and uphold social justice. E di ba ganun din ang ticket ni Erap?

Anyway, for me his win made “race equality” really tangible. I found it hilarious and refreshing to see videos of his extended family in Kenya celebrating. An American president’s election being celebrated in Africa and even here in London.

I’m not black but I feel like celebrating. Nakikisakay.

Imagine in the last stretch of this decade we have a Scottish UK Prime Minister, a young black guy F1 champion, and now a black American President.

I’m happy that we now have very visible examples to our kids. You can do anything, be anything no matter where you came from, as long as you “want it bad enough”.

It’s a big task for Obama and may God guide him.