Hyper na naman ako the past three days.

A few weeks ago I was carrying this huge weight on my shoulders and now even with the grey skies and persistent rain, I feel like singing.

I feel like nothing can be better.

I know this sign. Elation.

Some people claim spending loads of money when they’re at this stage. Ako, I tend to party, not sleep, work a lot. My brain won’t stop working at night.

Minsan I would plead to hubby for some sleeping tablets. Often I’d be tempted to take two. One diazepam tablet wont work. But I restraint myself, baka mag-OD ako.

I know I can be a good company when I’m like this. I talk a million miles a second. I come up with brilliant jokes. I dance like crazy, I drink like an expert.

Then my energy gets sapped. I will feel deflated and defeated. I will want to cry and I will lose hope.

It’s a sick cycle.

My mummy (ok, mommy) friends have been nagging me since April that they wanted to go on a night out, thinking I’m the key to that kind of thing. Fine. So I said on my birthday I will arrange it.

June came and went. I had to cancel two attempts afterwards. Finally today we’re going, but 2 of them had to cancel on us. Fine those who really, really wanted to experience the London nightlife are still coming.

Guess what though. Right on my cheek is a big fat zit. On my chest is a big red bump.

I wish I could say they’re due to late nights of partying… but they’re more from stress.

It’s been so long since I worried about this kind of thing & I’m not a make-up girl so I don’t know what I’m going to do. I bought a concealer but I’ve no idea how to use it.

Never mind, these mummies are not really out to party anyway. I’m taking them to the Ice Bar, kitsch I know. But I think that’s what they’ll enjoy most, except for May who like me is a real cow-girl.

When we take pictures, I guess I’ll just hide my left cheek a bit :-)

I came in early (around 7am) as I’m pick-up duty this afternoon. I did ctrl-alt-del & logged in to my laptop, which I normally leave running overnight (sorry Earth).

I had about 10 apps open and proceeded on switching back and forth trying to get two-three things done.

Then after one alt-tab too many, I got the “Blue Screen of Death”… Years ago I would have panicked. Maybe I’ve become unhinged due to stress, I was excited to see it and I actually laughed.

It’s been a looonnngggg time since I encountered the BSD … To mark the occasion I snapped a photo.

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I’m too lazy to download my picture so I copied the attached image from the Wikipedia.

Why do I have so much pent up rage? I try and try to de-stress and calm myself, but I find myself irritated by the most insignificant matters both at home and at work.

Ang hirap.

Kadalasan sobrang kapal nang balat ko di ako tinatablan nang parinig, nang bias or even straightforward kabastusan.

Other times, like today, I can’t help it. I find every remark stings me. I hear “later” as “no” and find myself gritting my teeth at the rebuff.

I wish, I wish, I wish I got barbed tongue, too. I wish the katarayan they say I possess is so true.

I wish I wish I could curl up in bed and hide under the covers. But every day, each day, I have to put on a mask of bravery and pretend everything is okay.

I am superwoman, an impenetrable fortress.

I received the same email from my sisters about this Chinese couple who had a May-December affair.

I proceeded to reply, talking about Joel and I, but I ended on a different love story.

I miss her with all my being it hurts even after 6 years.

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After weeks of speculation and doubts, we’re finally going. Hubby had dreamt of visiting the Theater of Dreams eversince landing on English soil. And this Saturday it’s finally going to happen.

We’re going to say hello and goodbye at the same time.

It’s Ole Gunner Solskjaer  (sols-shire) testimonial and we’ve been lucky enough to grab some seats before the Norwegians take them all.

I have to confess though, I’m not really a football fan. I’m not averse to it. I know some players, I know what an offside rule is (I should say I *believe* I know…, but I can survive an entire season without it. I do not need the most expensive cable channel on my subscription.

But Hubs is a different matter. We got Sky just because… He has x-number of Utd shirts. He shouts & jeers at home or in the pub during matches — and these even when he’s alone! Yes, he goes to pubs & communes with like-minded individuals and bonds with other Red Devil supporters.

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