31.Marskewed priorities
Hubby’s been complaining that his sides hurt. He managed to go to work on Saturday. We went to church on Sunday, did a little food shopping, he even did the ironing (yes, he doesn’t shy away from housework).
Then I got a voicemail from him, he said he didn’t go to work today because he’s in too much pain. Thankfully (!) he got an appointment from the GP and even more fortunate it was with the “better” doctor. He got the BUPA referral and a scan request for his gall bladder. Now if he waits for NHS that will mean weeks for the results and weeks, if not months, for the consultant.
He’s due for his scan tomorrow and the only consultant near our place is available Wednesday. Hubby says if his pain becomes worse he will go to A&E (that’s the British ER). I asked him if he wants me to be there with him tomorrow. He doesn’t answer straightaway & I don’t look at him.
Deep inside me, I know he wants me to come. I want to come. BUT our Phase 1 release is this week, Friday. It’s problematic and I am needed at work. I feel responsible. BUT I am feeling horrible just thinking about it.
Hubby releases me and initially ventures the scan will be over by 10am. I know though that since the hospital is 2.5 hours away, I will not be in the office until high noon. I will be missing at least 3 meetings and the leave of absence will be without warning as the appointment was only made tonite.
So I asked him in vain really. I feel rotten, my priorities are skewed and the worst thing is I do this almost every month. I feel horrible when I can’t be with my family every time they’re sick. I cannot tend to Kelvin every day. I cannot tend to my husband every day.
Times like these, I really feel that I did bite more than I can chew.
This entry was posted on Monday, March 31st, 2008 at 10:40 pm and is filed under family, katakot, women, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I think that this dilemma is quite common for working mothers and housewives. It’s a problem that plagues today’s generation of women… something that our mothers and grandmothers did not really go through.
I’m sure though that your Hubby understands. He seems like a great guy and I’m sure that he doesn’t want you to feel rotten. Just keep the strength and you’ll get through this. We simply have to make choices, difficult ones, and live with them.
And I hope there’s nothing serious with Hubby and that he feels better soon.
I had an open surgery with my gallbladder removed 3 months after I gava birth to Tania (CS) It was painful.
Guys have more pain tolerance than us women so I guess your hubby will be fine. He knows and we know that if you can only do anything just to be with him, you would.
I wish your hubby would be ok.
Get well soon to your husband and I hope things get better for you.
I think your husband has either gall stones or kidney stones and its blocking his urinary tract. Its the same thing with my husband.
sorry to hear about your husband’s illness, I hope he gets better soon
hope everything’s back on track now.
So how’s the hubby? Gallstones nga ba? I hope surgery is not indicated.
Anyhow, I know the piece is not really about ailing husbands but about female multiple roles and the strain these give us.
I guess we really have to walk the tight rope and maintain the tricky balance. Like you might say — eh consultation/diagnosis pa lang naman so okay lang wala ka muna. So we weigh. And we know when we can say .. hang office work.
Thanks for writing about this very real dilemma all of us so-called “super women” have to face over and again.
hope everything’s ok na. mahirap talaga minsan ang choices sa buhay e, pero kaya natin to
hi auee,
hope everything is fine with hubby. am sure hubby understood your situation. haay, if we can only be in two places at the same time. me, i have been lucky because i live within 10-minute drive from the hospital, grocery store, school, church, etc, so anytime, my kids/hubby need, i make myself available using my lunch time.
Hi Auee! How are you and the hubby?
My husband is in a similar situation… I don’t mean the gallbladder. I mean your situation. He’s very busy, he’s rarely home. Now i’m thinking he’s worse off (working on Sundays and holidays!). But anyway, the kids and i understand. I’m sure your family does too.
Things will get better.
hi musta na? hope all’s better na. happy mother’s day!
auee,
happy mother’s day! musta na si hubby?
I hope all is well with the hubby. Happy Mother’s Day!
Hi auee! i’m always checking out your site kung may bago kang entry… I always like your blog.. hope di ka pa gumi-give up sa writing…
Have a nice day!
wala po bang bagong post? Hope you are okay…