28.Novwhen reality is panting at your heels, run faster
I’ve always come across magazine articles about singletons being left behind as all their friends succumbed to the ball-and-chain married life. They voice varying opinions about not wanting kids, or envying stable relationships, or wanting to “settle” but not liking the idea of a marriage certificate, etc etc.
How about happily married folks who often look back and sigh? 
Well, sometimes I do.
I enjoyed my single life and independence so much, that now and again I find myself, thinking what it would have been like to stay single all these years.
A singleton friend from America stayed with us recently. I was really looking forward to it as much as she did. It was her 3rd time over & she was going to hook up with some “bloke” she met last time she was here. We booked her post-bday bash and we planned a night-out. Hubby volunteered to stay with pogiBoy (long story).
The eve of my FIRST proper nightout in London, I realised a number of things:
One, I don’t have anything to wear. All my clothes were office-wear and those that aren’t, aren’t “glam” enough. Que horror. I can’t turn up at a nightclub in my jumper!
Two, I have self-imposed curfew. I tried my best, but my involuntary reflex was to keep checking my watch and my phone. Every hour I “touched base” with hubby to confirm where we were.
Three, when the suggestion came up to move to the party to a house somewhere along the Docklands, I can’t join them. I found myself actually telling my friend “it’s not my scene” anymore. I wouldn’t belong in a singleton’s party without my hubby. The atmosphere will not be the same for me.
Coming home I told hubby that I’d love to accompany my friend on her Europe trips. But I know she will not enjoy it as much as I would. I’d have to bring pogiBoy with me or the entire family, and being single once I know that’s not “her scene” either.
When you’re single and adventurous you don’t want to be lumbered with a child. It’s going to cramp your style if you’re on the prowl. And how is she supposed to see the night-life in area if we turn around and tell her she’d have to go on her own or that we can go but only for 2-hours?
I am finally enjoying my married-with-a-kid life in London. I have managed to attend drink-do with my current officemates. I thought it’s not far-fetched to think I can start going on night-outs. The logistics are hazy but I thought I could invite a few kindred spirit, perhaps hubby and I can book a trusted nanny…
It really just hit me how different my life is now.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 28th, 2007 at 2:02 pm and is filed under friendship, napansin, past, relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Auee, I could so relate. 2 weeks ago a girl friend and I watched a movie and half the time I was wishing my husband was with us to see it because know how he would have enjoyed the movie. Last Halloween when hitched a ride with a couple planning to have a baby soon and going to the Bahamas this Xmas, I told them to travel as much as they can because once the baby comes along it will be so much harder. The husband said, “oh no, when we travel we’ll leave the baby behind”. Told him, “yes, you can still do that but you won’t enjoy it as much as you used to.” It’s really different, married life is, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Single life and married life are two entirely different worlds. I agree. I have felt that way for the longest time too. Kaya lang when I realized that I was really hindering my own enjoyment ako na din ang gumawa ng paraan. You know what, it actually helped. Both my husband and I make the effort to plan activities outside of “family activities”. Now we enjoy ourselves together and on our own. It has helped make our marriage more enjoyable. Even our kids understand that sometimes mama and papa need to do things without them
it’s futile to run faster, reality overtakes everyone
di pa ko tapos magcomment…,na-post agad.
anyway, i so agree auee. ang layo na natin from the carefree singletons we once were. we miss the lives we had, pero i believe youll agree with me, we may wish to go back to being single and carefree, pero when it’s right there in your face, the prospect of us not being “burdened” with wife and mommy responsibilities, tingnan lang natin kung matuwa tayo
kaya a couple of hours or maybe days lang ang ok sa atin. longer and we’ll be in agony.
kwento ko lang. true story to ha. there was this group of mommies who were officemates who had to go to this beautiful beach resort for 5 days and 4 nights – company planning whatever. they were so excited, kasi nga naman, pwede na silang mag-feeling single kahit for 5 days lang, tapos libre pa.
so they were very happy on the first night, tuloy pa rin ang ligaya nung 2nd night. nung 3rd night, nag-iinuman sila, tapos lasing na lasing na sila, and they were all screaming “miss na miss ko na ang anak ko!” and they were all crying and feeling miserable. pinagtatawanan sila ng mga officemates nila afterwards, pero it was really touching diba. nakaka-relate ako
I can relate with constantly not having anything to wear. I can relate with self-imposed curfew — even now when my children are all grown-up.
How disciplined ha?! And yet I can’t impose a curfew on my blogging/scrabbling.
Being single has its perks, I know, because a lot, I mean a whole lot of my friends are single! That includes my children’s godmothers. They can go wherever they want to go, do what they want and enjoy being with their friends and family members too. But we have talked about these and yes, they admit, at the end of the day, they would want to have someone to go home too. They want to experience the kind of “problems” parents like me have.
And as for my family, we are a package deal, always together in all our free time. Just can’t leave the children behind. During vacations when they spend days with my parents, then my husband and I get to enjoy each other’s company. But then, sigh, we miss them terribly.