22.Octhalata ba ang tsikinini ko?
I recently called a high school friend in Pinas. As often the case with oldies like us, we got to talking about our past escapades. At one point she mentioned common friends who got married early (due to pregnancy). Some she said were demure in high school. “Tsk, tsk“, she said “you can never tell” but what followed nearly had me fall off my chair.
She said “Di ba ikaw nga ang panay tsikinini nung high school?“
OMG! Did I really? I might have accidentally blocked that out of my memory. It’s been so long since I last heard the word tsikinini (kissmark) that there was a synaptic delay before I reacted. When I did I couldn’t contain my mirth and my embarrassment. I was probably a little red on the face.
I can honestly say though I was not alone in sporting those red spots of “love”. Yes, my then bf would have some, too 
And some of our other girl friends did it, too! Truly it wasn’t just me.
What she said though did strike me. We do judge others by their action but for women, we’re under so much scrutiny and double-standards. Just because you’re a flirt and you are sexually-active, people think it’s okay to label you as easy. They expect you to be an easy lay. They won’t be surprised if you end up a single parent. They raise their eyebrows and think they’re better than you because they are prim and proper and are morally-upright.
I say “up-yours, mate”.
If the boys are naughty and caught in the act of masturbation that will be seen as normal, “boys will be boys”. If they impregnate a girl, it’s not such a big loss, they’re men now. They have less to prove to the world.
Women are still afraid of their sexuality. Girls are still taught to be careful with their virginity. The hymen is still a venerated flesh that must be guarded.
If women choose to flirt, that’s their call. How others perceived your actions from years ago, does not matter today. Each of us chart our destinies. It could just be luck or stupidity that some people end up pregnant or sick with HIV. It could just be we’re smart to use condoms or stick with known partners that we’re still healthy and happy.
I’m rambling. The point is whether or not I had tsikinini covering my ass before should never matter. Mind your own beeswax.
This entry was posted on Monday, October 22nd, 2007 at 7:00 am and is filed under L-moments, past. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
if im not mistaken di ba ikaw din yung nagkwento na parang leader/sort of corps commander ng CAT?
sikat ka pala non. what i mean is, everybody in your school must have known you kaya bawat kilos mo noon scrutinized.
Auee,
Never had a bf when I was studying. I had lots, if not loads of crushes then. Not that I was a prude but ganun lang siguro, walang chance to do so. I had male friends, classmates, people from youth group in the church. Actually I had two sets of friends during high school, the Catholics (my classmates) and the Methodists (my youth group) so I was sort of busy to think about getting in a relationship then. But having one was not a bad idea too.
Re our batch: Siguro one reason was because we were a tightly knit batch, spending years together from Kinder till high school kaya parang we are like one big family. We have had couples then in high school but only one got married but separated din after some time.
Yes, people look at the male and female differently. When a girl gets pregnant, m.a.l.a.n.d.i. When a guy gets a girl pregnant, ok lang, wala naman mawawala sa kanya. Its unfair. To think that this perception still exists till now.
hi auee,
i had several boyfriends bt one at a time and i never call myself flirt or malandi. kahit na nung time na nabuntis ako i still don’t categorize myself as malandi — sila lang siguro..ung mga babaeng tinatago lang nila na malandi sila. hahaha. they brand me as malandi on the show kasi lumaki tyan ko. well, it does not matter…tapos na ako ng college. I got pregnant when I already have my job…
bt that is not reallymy point…i wanna say i love that kiss mark…i mean having them. and i didnt experience it when i was young or in college bt had in just couple years back and i think it is sexy
Shocked naman ako!! Ikaw ah, you little devil you.
Sus, that’s the thing eh, a lot of people still carry this perception that if a woman decides to openly express her own sexuality then she is “pakawala”. No matter how careful she is, ganun pa din ang tingin sa kanya. It’s sad pero it’s still the norm.
Sa school namin noon buti na lang medyo liberal yun paningin ng mga tao. Wa sila care sa mga ginagawa ng ibang students. As in, bahala ka sa buhay mo. May mga cliques but nobody really minded you. Kanya kanya eh. At least everyone was able to be his own person whether nerd man o wild. Pantay pantay lang kami lahat. Ako good girl ako….mwahaha!!
ahahaha, Auee, natawa ako sa chikinini. pero agree ako dyan. am not generalizing ha, pero ganyan din ang mga sinapit nung mga classmates ko sa high school. kung sino pa yung mga pa demure effect, mukhang virgin at very innocent, aba nabigla na lang ako kasi nung nag grand reunion, aba’y sila pa itong sandamakmak ang mga anak at hala, nalosyang ng todo.
as for me naman, like Cookie, medyo mala-malang demure na mala malang liberated. ahihihi.
auee! i super love this post. it was as if you were talking to me personally while we’re sipping coffee.
well, whether we like it or not, society will always be judgmental and stereotyping will always pervade. It’s already up to the individual to break away from the stereotype..
i was a straight A student. Graduated cum laude and got preganant a few months after graduation. Do I feel that it stained me as a woman? No! Because I take responsibility for my actions. I am proud because I nursed a wonderful child.
I guess what I’m driving at is that what really determines the person that we are is not the circumstance that befall us but what we did to overcome that. Are we victors or victims?
Victors, of course.
A toast to womanity and tsikinini. Hahaha.
there was this girl who I used to work with who wore a scarf in the middle of summer, I was gonna ask her why (and it never even crossed my mind that it is you-know-what) but I forgot about it, I was busy. After a while she came to me and said, “well, aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m wearing this?” I said (am I bothered) yeah, ok, why are you wearing that? “I got a lovebite!”
she’s definitely not shy about her sexuality
cess, feeling sikat kasi maliit ang mundo namin.
teacher julie, naku puro religious groups ang samahan mo. Ako naman puro may sungay yata ang sinalihan ko?
Mababago pa ba yung perception na yan? Ako nga din minsan guilty nyan e.
arlene, natawa ko sa comment mo
I have a friend who got preggers when she was already working, too. I told her she has nothing to be ashamed of, afterall she’s supporting herself since she left Uni…
cookie, ssshh
feng, ewan ko ha pero pag di ako kilala nang tao, sabi nila demure ako
angel,
let’s drink to that
pining, just like my officemate in Pinas! I keep asking her why wear a scarf (tiny lang naman) if it was for posh-effect, sabi nya nanggigigil hubby nya
ikaw ka, hahaha. sometimes you dont really know what other people thinks of you until you really hear from them
am sure you had a great time in high school though…
Raquel, nakalimutan ko na nga ito sa totoo lang.
teka, nagkamali ata ako ng pinasok.
girls talk..
well, sa side ko naman, ha ha ha.. hindi ako marunong gumawa ng kissmark… napagaaralan ba yun?
pero marunong ako mag masturbate..
uy usapang tsikinini! ayos! hehehe
Seriously late bloomer ako. Baka nga noong HS eh wala akong alam sa mga tsikinini na yan hehehe honestly never had that until the age of 25 hahaha
Anyway yeah…I don’t know why but kung sino yung super conservative na halos di nagsasalita, they’re usually the first ones to get knocked up. At kung sino yung mga green-minded (tulad ko) na palaging nagtatawanan pag may mag joke about sex, yun yung mga wais din minsan (naks!)
heheheh, auee,
naexperience ko rin iyan…it felt good di ba? sarap gunitain ang mga nakaraan.
just think of it as part of growing up haha.. now you made me think of how my peers regarded me when i was in HS or even college. i just had a bf when i was in college, and yes, like all the other youngsters, we sported that chikinini too lol.. sino ba ang hindi?
kingdaddyrich, you probably won’t need to practise, lalabas na lang yun by animal instinct
verns, bullseye
beng, oo nga those were the young “innocent” days
ana, baka yung mga walang bf hindi nagkaroon like yung kausap ko hek hek
Nasa all girl’s high school ako noon, it’s quite a big effort to go and find a boyfriend. Ang layo ng boy’s high eh. Meron mga lesbo. Yung palaging may tsikinini yung teacher namin sa English.
you’re right, double standard talaga. still, natatawa pa rin ako sa term, tsikinini. hahahaa. san kaya galing yung term na yun.