26.Sepfeel it burn, baby!
In Kat’s recent post she was wondering whether she was sub-consciously censoring her posts. It really made me think. Are my posts censored, too? By posting the following racy admission, am I going to turn some readers away? Am I opening myself to ridicule? Do I care? hehe Of course, I do. But people, what I’m going to say (or write) is nothing but universal truth. Take it like Sally revealing that women fake orgasm (When Harry Met Sally).
I love feeling flirty & having that ticklish feeling of a teenager with a major crush: giggly, self-conscious, you put multiple meanings from an accidental glance, or construe electric vibes during casual conversations.
I am in-love with hubby and he can get me all hot just by naughty text messages or casually dropped innuendos while telling me to pick up groceries. But the thrill of the “chase” can still get my blood boil-a-degree, too. It’s not just men who have open sexual desire, you know.
Married women, a mum in my case, still desires (a lot). Marriage did not bind my libido. It didn’t
blind me to other men, and it certainly didn’t blind my husband to other women. Marriage and the promise of monogamy can make some rebellious, I’m not (yet). But it certainly didn’t take my (animal) instinct away. The only thing I’m not sure of is whether menopause will, sad if it does.
I am a flirt by nature. I like it when the men I like likes me back. Who doesn’t? When I was single, I was terrified of committing to hubby (then bf) because I was having so much fun dating and he was way too serious. (Un)fortunately I didn’t sleep around, just dated & flirted. You know: you chat, you hold hands, there might be a touch here and there. Sometimes you cuddle. Sometimes you engage in teasing kisses. Most of the time you just exchange loaded glances. Other times you let yourself go stare longingly at each other but do nothing.
It gets me going. Thinking, wondering. Perhaps I’m masochistic, more likely it’s just the hopeless romantic in me. But it’s fun. It’s a recreation. It doesn’t really matter if it was an unrequited desire (note: not love).
Perhaps brought on by my returning glory, I now have McAvoy staring at me on a daily basis when my desktop (@work) shows up. Since I have two monitors, I have two McAvoys sending shivers down my spine - joy! Soon I will have more.
I also found a more human (i.e. physically here) eye-candy. Every time I remember Jason, I wish I could post this guy’s photo here to show you WHY. Hot dude’s into kite-surfing so he’s really buff. He smells clean. He wears tattered jumpers (sweatshirts to non-Brits) when casual, business 
suit when formal. He’s single and a real hottie. Funny though, I discovered he also knows about Owen Wilson’s problems. Hmmm.
But in any case, just having these guys to entertain my dull moments, makes up for the 8-9 hours I spend stuck in the grind of daily work. If I wasn’t married & I do have an office-affair, I think that might make the Tube a bit tolerable, too.
For now, I just enjoy the ride.
xxx
Oh yeah, hubby knows. And come to think of it, this is not so risque afterall.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 at 3:55 pm and is filed under L-moments, women. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
daring!
ay, pag ganyang hottie, ini-email na yan ;-P
i mean, ini-email yung pic, not e-mail hottie himself…
awww, what a sweet bitch!
Girl, this post just made my day. Hurrah for your brutal honesty
Bravo for this very honest post. I enjoyed reading it.
ana, daring ba? hehe Hay ano kaya sasabihin ng ofcmate ko kung mabasa nya ito ‘no?
J, ano ba email mo? hehe
feng, thanks hehe
Scrooch, glad I made you smile
:-)
Rachel, thanks :-)
Thanks for the kind words Auee
. Buti ka pa may eyecandy at work. Not that I need it at the moment but it does make your day a lil bit brighter. I used to have a crush on a colleague who used to flirt back and it was fun. Hehe. Nothing wrong with a friendly banter, right?
btw, I work in IT too but I work for local government (council).
hi denden, thanks for dropping-by again. IT ka din pala (yipee!!), masanay ka nang maging only girl esp sa mga startup companies.
:-P
Sang council ka? hehe Uyy probing question hehe Ako sa City mismo ang office namin.
Friendly banter is definitely healthy hehe charing
oo nga eh, kaya lang mga kasama ko middle-aged men. hehe. wala man lang pangkilig.
hehe, hindi naman probing yung question. sa barking & dagenham council
.
btw, ang galing mo at carry mo ang SBD. na-iinspire mo tuloy ako magSBD. you look great.
Denden, my jaw dropped when I read your response! Are we neighbours then? I live in Dagenham.
Ah try working for private companies they’ve got fresher blood
:-)
hi Auee! when i read your blog i had an inkling that you live somewhere east. i thought either barking or dagenham…hehehe!
i live in stratford though…still with the `rents but looking for a place…so we’ll most probably end up neighbours. i promise i won’t be annoying like the other flips. hahaha!
Hi Auee, ang tapang mo girl. Di yata ako maka-post ng ganyan kahit gusto (10x) ko…he he. Hubby is so seloso. Baka biglang mag disappear blog ko, he he.
denden, we originally lived around Waltham Forest & I frequented Stratford before. Most of the “bagong salta” tend to go by East ‘no?
We should meet up one time
:-)
rowena, hehe wag ka ngang magpo-post nang ganyan kung ganun.
bwahaha, ano email addy ng ofcmate mo at ng ma-forward ang link mo hehe..
well, in fact, i had this italian supplier this week who looked trash and hottie.. and i was in a meeting with him.. and frenchguy! (and other colleagues of course)… then arriving at home, i was talking about it to frenchguy, how i find that italiano hot and sexy.. and voila, frenchguy did calm down that burning libido in me hehehe..
sure auee, that would be nice.
kami naman baliktad when we were FOP, we lived in Hounslow but it here. everthing’s accessible.
oh def. flirting is fun. i’m not a good flirter though, and i get instantly shy when a guy stares at me! hahha… and i share a lot of your sentiments. i still get a excited by the hubs, but also by eye-candy like wentworth miller and other hotties! i think the thing i miss the most is the beginning stages of dating… very exciting!
oh, i love to flirt, too
just too focused on the activities of the kids to blog about these things, hehe.
denden, hounslow as in sa Barrio Fiesta?
:-P Let’s set a date ha.
Email me ;-P
kat, so true! The kilig factor during dating is something not easily forgotten.
raquel, ayayay when my son is around, then no more proper blogging hehe
Go Girl!
was laughing my head off… ang tapang nga!
Hi,
I’m Mel. I discovered your blog thru Geri. I luv your posting & I think they are very interesting. Can I add u to my friends list??
Thanks & Mabuhay
sweet bitch heheehe…surely you did not get bored at the tube thinking of your flirty self eh
hey, hot momma!
haha, I really enjoyed reading this. It’s a good respite from the usual tame reads i get.
Finally, after 10 years, i’m done with the 8 things tag. LOL
Hahaha! This is so funny Auee!
Love your candidness, can totally relate. I’m too Catholic to flirt tho. I’m scared of lightning will striking me down haha
Hello Auwee! Shocked ako rito…hehehe. Di ko kaya guts mo. You’re so honest.
offtopic:
Oks lang na promote mo sbd ko, basta makakatulong ba sa kanila eh di ba? Thanks girl.
Auee, hats off for being so candid.
Somehow I remember Abby Lee. But of course, yours is more “kilig”, true, pramis, not because you are my friend. Used to read her blog sporadically and I would giggle like a crazy school girl.
Hmmm…mahila na nga si hubby, he is fiddling the keyboard and singing to himself “For the love we used to share, Just call my name and I’ll be there!” Sus!
Take care!
pining, tapang ng mukha ‘no? hehehe
mheldz, thanks for the compliment (I will accept it shamelessly). Yes please do link up, I will drop by your site, too.
sha, ah sometimes I hope no one on the train can read my mind! hek hek
:-P
hi chats! thanks for doing the tag, I enjoyed reading it hehe
toe, glad to make you laff
geri, ay come one you’re missing out hehe — BI no?
ann, thanks for dropping by again. I told my sis in Dubai about your “raket” sabi ko gayahin nya hehe
julie, naks salamat! hehe Tanggap naman ako ‘no? Kapal talaga.