I have been struggling for nearly two months to completely shake off my persistent depression. This is the longest it has stayed with me, at least that I can immediately recall. There were okay periods but I am in a downward spiral. The simplest task is taking its toll on me. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to bathe. I don’t want to think. Most of the time I don’t want to talk.

I push myself to engage my son, my husband, and do my work. I tried to bloghop & resolved to visit at least all those in my blogroll, but failed - a number of times. I promised the weekend will be better, but at least 8 weekends have passed and I got nothing done. At least, I don’t see a huge change in my to-do-list.

Between March and May I was on a high. I zipped thru my workload. I would make up 20-odd things on my to-do list and still have the energy to stay awake late at night to wait for my husband. I didn’t feel an internal struggle to do anything, I just move.

It’s different now. I struggle to stay awake, to stay focused, to be present. I hate this. I don’t like the fact that I want to do so much but I’ve run out of fuel. Can you understand? It’s crazy why I allow myself to swing up & down like this. I could pop a pill and my mood radar will probably estabilize. But just the thought of another medicine I need to take makes me want to puke, I can almost taste the sick in my mouth.

I can shake this bastard off on my own. I know I can, I just need to give myself time. Prioritise what I need to do. And pray that nothing else f*cks up.

Hey I’m feeling better already. I got one new post (this) and it’s nearly end of the working day. Another day bites the dust.

I’m not a big sports fan but this one is sure to tickle your fancy, too. Rhain Davis, a 9 year old boy, has been tagged (or is it bagged) by Manchester United. Fergie’s scouts watched amazed at the schoolboy’s fancy footwork. His family’s on their way to UK from Oz, relocated by the club.

Apparently Rhain’s been on YouTube for a while but his move/skills/presence was announced today. Hubby’s very quick on the draw (being a Red Devils‘ supporter!) & checked out the internet for more information on the young guy.

Watch this video… Please even for a minute & look at the way this 9-year old does Cristiano Ronaldo’s footwork with so much ease, he’s even as cute as Ronaldo! I can’t wait to show it to my toddler!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG47FDenyXw]

Oh wow! I’m very, very flattered. I rock? Seriously?! It certainly made my day, okay week. Heck I might take this feeling with me for at least a month.

Teacher Julie said…

Chateau said…

I love her honest humor and sharp wit. I wonder why she called her kwentos walang kwenta when it’s exactly the opposite. She is also a cool rocker mom who loves Metallica. Rock on, Auee!

and Connie, the Sassy Lawyer, also gave me one! I checked my self on the mirror (not easy in our office) to see if I was red because I really felt a warm glow all-over.

Thanks for your kind words & for even thinking of me! Oscar-worthy speech eh.

I am passing the Rockin’ Girl Blogger award to these superladies:

1. Verna of the walk of my life-shlife : Verns, you’re one cool chick & your posts and wit take me back to the good ol’ days of single-blessedness.

2. Jen of J and the three Boys : Jen’s anecdotes about her sweet boys never fail to make me smile or roll with laughter. I’m super impressed with her ability to stay a cool & yummy mommy while managing a successful business, too.

3. Rose of Cookie Jar : Osang an artist in the making, never failing to make waves anywhere she goes. Continue blogging & posting those pictures, please!

4. Pining of Hinaing ni Pining : A treasure found from Annamanila’s million blogfriends. I always look forward to reading her stories, for they remind me I’m not the lone Pinay in the UK afterall. Her engaging writing style provokes a lot of memories & emotions.

5. Mona of Renaissance Girl : My first ever blog haunt that got me hooked. She’s witty, she’s scary, she’s very impressive. Her Corporate Slave series is a winner. Mona, come on, blog! If you get the chance download at her weblog favourites & start laughing.

Well the “rule” says pass on the hot pink award to other ladies in the blogosphere but if you can’t that’s fine. Just wanted to let you know that you all rock!

Perhaps I better put my mask on again… Too late! Kelvin, my unico hijo took this snapshot a few weeks ago. And peeps I’m not joking, but this is my first close-up shot in two years’ time that I can honestly say I like. I can actually look at myself & not cringe. Yup, I think the 47% Vain Quiz was wrong - I’m ultra self-conscious.

Aside from being anal retentive and keeping stacks of post-it notes everywhere, I also manage to mangle the spoken English now and again. I am truly a proud Filipina when I admit that I mispronounce my P- & F- sounds, and que barbaridad my he/she and in/on. These after living in London for 6 years and working with Americans for 4 years prior my UK-move. So yes, I actually read better in English.

I’m a devoted, but a far-from-perfect, Mum to a 3-year old boy, Kelvin, who is the centre of my Universe. Though at times my cup does runneth over & I have the urge to throw my own tantrums his way, I can never get enough of his hugs and I bask at his adoring glances.

Joel is the man-behind-the-woman. A true-blue Waray who still insists I slipped gayuma (love potion) in his drinks 10 years ago. Who could resist? I was so taken by his accent (ang tigas kaya ng dila!).

I know the tag was just asking for photos & small bits of information about the blogger but I was so tempted to introduce my family, too. Kulit!

Thanks Analyse for tagging me for this meme!

Now the tag instruction:

1st step - Post a short blog article that includes a photograph (or a series of photos) showing the face behind your blog. If you already showed a photo somewhere on your site (such as in your about page), then make your post more interesting and choose a photo that’s not currently online.

2nd step - Include links to other people that have displayed a photo, or include their photos in your post, adding a reference.

3rd step - Tag as many others as you like in your post to spread the meme.

4th step - If you link back to me here and send an email I’ll be sure to include links back to you. Each person tagged should create their own post and repeat the process.

I want to know more about Lady Cess, Christianne and Badoodles of Kwentong Barbero. Dare to show your fez?