Comments on: parenting pains

By: auee

auee — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:27:00 +0000

Joy, salamat sa pagbisita.
Don’t feel too bad, lagi ko ngang sinasabi lakasan lang ng loob yan. Besides kukunin nyo din naman sya soon enough. Just steel yourself when you do, allow at least a week for adjustment before you leave Pinas & haul him to Dubai. It will be great if he becomes comfy with you in a day but it’s not likely. Ihanda mo na sarili mo na iiyak ka at pati sya, just don’t give up. What worked for us is pinaalis namin yung lola nya until makaalis kami for London. It helped him recognise na kami na ang carer nya. Email me if you need more tips.

By: joy

joy — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 07:11:00 +0000

me and my husband is here in dubai, and we have left our 4 month old son when he was only 45 days old… sana wag dumating sakin yung time na di sasama sakin yung baby ko, coz’ it will definitely make me cry… i hope we can get him before he can walk and i want him to say the first word “mum” and not “lola”.. bad ba ko na ayoko sya maging mas close sa lolo at lola nya? sobrang selos ko whenever they tell me na marunong na maghug ang baby ko, na umiiyak kapag iniiwan nila, na di makatulog kapag di sila katabi, ano yun? why do they have to say these to me? but since we should suppose to love our in-laws, i will jut say.. “that’s good ma”… well.. that’s life…

By: auee

auee — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:10:00 +0000

hi angelo… thanks for dropping-by. I really appreciate your comment. I don’t think anyone will be offended by what you said. It is true that some OFW have mixed responsibility with encouraged dependence. Hindi man ginusto ng OFW na maging “PAL” ang mga kamag-anak nila, karaniwan ganun na nga ang nangyayari. Marami kong kakilala na ganyan ang sitwasyon, yung iba naka-kawala, yung iba parang nasa twilight zone na di magising sa katotohanan na inaabuso na sila, yung iba naman masama na ang loob wala pa ding magawa.

A friend even had a long term plan like you mentioned. Pero hanggang ngayon wala syang makitang progress sa pamilya nya. Di naman nya mabitawan ang responsibility nya. Nakakaawa talaga kung alam mo ang buong istorya. Suffice to say, to cope with the stress, he’s using Prozac.

Choosing to work abroad to support someone back in Pinas is really fraught with pitfalls & dangers. It hurts worse when the people you think you can really trust, turn out to be leeches.

By: Angelo

Angelo — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:47:00 +0000

Mahirap talaga yan .. pero wag nating kalimutan na yang “sacrifice” eh minsan – nakakasama rin – I’m sure you’ve known OFWs na yung mga anak sa pinas eh nabubuntis (kung babae) o nangbubuntis (kung lalaki) tapos aasa sila sa OFW parents nila.

For OFWs – long-term planning is really important – ang mahirap lang talaga sa OFW eh yung ibang kamag-anaks na umaasa kaya hindi makapagipon. I remember a friend – sinabihan sya ng wife na “Kelan pa ba nila tatanggapin na may sariling pamilya ka na.” – kasi ultimo allowance ng mga kapatid nyang nasa college na – sya nagpapadala. Then the wife left for Canada with their kid and told him to follow once he’s ready to be a husband – ayun – saka lang natauhan.

At minsan – no offence sa tatamaan but to be honest – most of the time – yung ‘sacrifice’ na sinasabi natin eh tao na rin ang nagpapalaki – like gusto sa La Salle mag-aral (pwde naman sa UST), gusto 2-3 ang kotse, gusto malaking-malaki ang bahay. I’ve known a lot of people na ganyan ang naging problem. Yung sacrifice naging pagbibigay ng luho na – which is going to be non-stop.

So basically – after a few years with no end in sight – maybe OFW parents should start to really evaluate what they’re doing.

By: Heart of Rachel

Heart of Rachel — Tue, 29 May 2007 14:43:00 +0000

Hi Auee. I felt very moved by your entry. I was really touched as I read your words and I could imagine the sacrifices you went through. I admire you and your husband for providing the best care for your child. I’m glad that you were able to overcome the obstacles and everyone is doing great especially Kelvin.

By: auee

auee — Tue, 29 May 2007 08:06:00 +0000

hi kathy… it was really tough, but the worst part was when Tatay came back it took a long time for him to adjust to us & us to him. Sad really. Goodluck to you & your hubby if you do decide to move out, & hopefully you get to bring Olin with you.

hi angel… thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, we do need to be strong in order to do what’s best for our families.

By: mommyness

mommyness — Mon, 28 May 2007 08:11:00 +0000

this is a moving post. i very much can relate. not that i'm an OFW but because everyday, I leave my son with his nanny because I have to go to work. And there are times that my son would call his yaya more than he calls me. Even so, I see to it that we get as much quality time together in spite of the fact that I am 8-10 hours not within his reach.

you're a great mom! i just know that. my prayer for you: strength of heart, good health for Kelvin, a happy home and marriage.

Trials will still come along the way but always remember that God breaks us to become more beautiful.

Your friend,
Angel

By: kathy

kathy — Mon, 28 May 2007 06:26:00 +0000

hi auee… i can relate to this.. my dad is an ofw, kaya maximum of 2months in a year lang kame magkasama..malungkot esp kapag may mga occasions tas cia wala.. cryola mode tuloy lagi kame nila mama…
before,i used to say na di ko iiwan ang magiging anak just to work outside PI,kaso sa mga nangyayari ngayon,mukhang kakainin ko lahat un..me and hubby are into considering working abroad.for the best of olin’s future…
basta sis, be strong and ur lucky kze ksama nyo pa din si kelvin..

By: auee

auee — Sun, 27 May 2007 08:24:00 +0000

hi jo… Sometimes it is difficult for people left behind to fully-understand the situation on the other side of the world. But the converse is also true that we, the “dollar” earners sometimes don’t understand that the situation we left is getting worse by the day.

By: JO

JO — Sun, 27 May 2007 03:04:00 +0000

Hi Auee,
I admire people like you… your sacrifices are admirable… you shouldn’t allow people to judge you. You did what you have to do at that time.

What most people in the Philippines don’t understand is that it is not easy to live in another country… both parents need to work to make ends meet… yes, we do earn in dollars, but all our expenses are also in dollars.