pogiBoy has been exposed to cameras from the minute he was born. We have pictures of him coming out of my tummy, taking his first bath, his first step… you get the picture (no pun intended).

It was only a matter of time before he picked up the tool himself. In recent weeks, he’s been playing with my Nokia N70 every chance he gets. He takes the household members’ pictures, even copying us & tells us to “smile“. But his subjects are varied, sometimes he’d even take shots of my bum & laugh! It is curious to see things from his eye-level. And even better to see him really concentrated on getting the right (?) shots, taking the picture again & again & sometimes even kneeling or standing on his toes.

Here are some that are consistent favourites.

His telly which he shares with mummy

Dora fridge magnets

His favourite character, Noddy

I am from an OFW family. Tatay left for Saudi when I was 6-7 years old. He retired when I was 16 and about to leave for college. To say that I didn’t really know him until then was an understatement. It was a shock to both of us. I knew then that I don’t ever want to break up my family for an overseas work. It’s all of us or nothing.

But I ate my words. We left our 1 month old baby in the care of my parents. I agreed with hubby when he said we need to recoup, sort out our mortgage and take pogiBoy back after a year. We were in pain, but I knew it was the right decision. Perhaps to justify it even further, I know a lot of Pinoys were doing the same thing. Still it hurt though when people openly criticise our decision, as if they can help us with childcare. I have to put on a brave face in every gathering. I cannot show that I cry at night or on the bus on the way home to an empty house. I cannot tell anyone that I want to kill myself on my son’s first Christmas because we’re not together. I have to be brave & strong for us.

When my son was nearly one, we went home to bond with him & prepare him for the flight back. I cannot tell you the emotions that surged through me when I first saw him at NAIA. But I can tell you the pain that ripped hubby & I many times when he won’t come near us. For three days we endured sleepless nights because he won’t go to sleep when we try to put him to bed. He’d wake up several times at night asking for his Lola. We nearly gave up when pogiBoy lost his voice from too much crying. Finally on the fourth day he became used to me. He allowed me to give him a bath without a fight. We went to bed with no problem & he slept soundly next to Daddy & myself.

Our flight back to England was wonderful. Arriving home he immediately settled in. On his first week here he even managed to walk on his own! Wala na kasing karga ng karga. He was always smiling. He always wakes up in a happy mood. I was in Heaven.

Then reality arrived soon enough. The first 2 weeks of nursery was pretty bad. But that wasn’t the problem, he got sick too often. I think he caught everything that every kid in their room have. For the 6 months that we paid for his place, he probably spent just 3 months of it in there. We were constant visitors to the GP and the A&E (i.e. ER). It was a struggle to keep him “plump” as he’d lose weight the instant he falls sick. Hubby & I rotated our absences from work. Sometimes I manage to work from home. But still we never felt like giving up to send him back to Pinas. No. He will stay with us, we’re happy, he’s happy.

Then I received a call from one of my sisters. It is expected that they will worry about pogiBoy but her words were “napapabayaan nyo na ang bata, dapat hindi trabaho ang inuuna nyo“. To be accused of neglect by other people is bad enough but my own family? I just dropped the call. Our oldest sister called to explain that the words didn’t come out right. I think they did. I didn’t talk to ditse for a while but I do know she had only the best intentions for her nephew.

Hubby & I were killing ourselves taking care of our son. We were looking at all sorts of avenue to get him seen by the right people. We were spending serious money on his health & his care. We are good parents to our son. He stays in the nursery because that is the reality here in England. We don’t have a Lola to rely on. We are doing our best, no one can say otherwise.

These days pogiBoy is thriving. He’s been with his current nursery for over a year. He’s developing well even given his persistent glue ear. We managed to take a break in Pinas in 2006 & this time around, he wouldn’t go near his Lola & aunties, but only for a few hours.

It seems like all those hurt happened a long time ago. It’s funny because it’s only been three (3) years.