18.Mayguilt ridden worker
I always feel guilty when I don’t have enough to do at work. Today I will probably spend 2 hours in total for work related activities, and those are limited to emails, reading contracts, and perhaps a quick meeting with the boss. I finished my revision for my API tests yesterday. I should be happy as I have the time to bloghop, blog & I even managed to update my links! But as I said I feel guilty.
Sometimes I torture myself by wondering if the network has spies installed. Arrggh my head will certainly roll, as my network traffic will direct them to blogs!
I know I should savour days like these as these are exceptions. There’s a hold on any commercial moves and so I’m still by my lonesome. In reality it’s just a slow day. Next week I will have to work with some consultants for an outsourcing project, I will also need to follow up some NDAs with software vendors, perhaps start evaluating tools and, potentially work on creating demo Market Data. So I know my plate will be full, but still…
It’s similar when I threw occasional sickies in my previous jobs (I have no reason to do it with my new place – yet). If I venture outside the house, I’m always on red alert, I cannot relax. I always fear bumping into someone & then having to explain myself. If I stay indoors, I get paranoid & wonder if the company may want to have some investigator watch my every move. You’ll get the feeling that perhaps I do it so often that the guilt is killing me. No, I don’t. Because I still get the same feeling when I am really sick. If I go to the hospital or to the doctor’s I still wonder if I’m being followed.
Insane. Well that’s me.
This entry was posted on Friday, May 18th, 2007 at 2:39 pm and is filed under personality, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
if im not mistaken, youre a type a person. type a’s are good. you go places. youre achievers. you need to relax a bit though
hi ladycess… I looked your comment up on WIKI, I nearly lol when I read the entire description hehe Grabe! Bordering on O-C ‘no? I am very time-conscious & sometimes I do think I need to take an anger management class and a friend once told me I’m a workaholic which I denied & still deny, actually… oh dear hehe
hey auee, you know what days in the Office I loved? these are those very very hectic and busy times that I– almost forgot to eat my lunch because i’m beating my self-imposed deadline to finish a task; never had a chance to re-fix myself or comb my hair even because i’m so hooked brainstorming for creative ideas with a colleague for an upcoming event; and finally, those times when i never noticed that the day is almost over and that there’s another day to finish the unfinished.
so in short, i love rush, urgent, hectic workloads. the snail-like, not-so-busy days make me sick that i just intentionally glue myself in the blogsphere. i’m much of a procrastinator, i work best at stressful times.
it’s OK to relax sometimes auee, do not be so guilty.
hi feng… oo nga e hubby tells me to stop being paranoid & stop with the guilt-trip. You should see me when I’m working from home, mas manic pa ko… But I try to relax more often now.