16.Aprpreferred gifts are always best
We held our wedding date a month before my departure to London & two weeks before hubby’s return to England. We knew we wouldn’t be able to take any material gifts with us to our new “home”. We specified in the invites that we prefer gift certificates but this was only for our friends. The “older” guests (friends of our parents, the VERY few relatives) were told not to bother we just want them to witness our vows.
My Nanay & hubby’s parents were very scandalised (esp. when they saw my red dress!). They tried several times to change our minds, to withdraw that “line” from the invitations. But it was one of our best decisions ever. We used the ‘gifts’ for luggage, for additional clothes, tons of medicines & supplies. We got what we really wanted and needed. It’s akin to having a gift registry, but the oldies didn’t get it. Dahil na din kaya nasa probinsya kami?
Yesterday (15 April) we celebrated our son’s 3rd birthday party with selected family friends. We spent the entire day in the Colchester Zoo. We were all tired but everyone enjoyed themselves. We have special events booked for our group. The kids were given time with some farm animals & other critters. They were given some educational at the same time, which the parents themselves liked. Then my son took part in feeding the seals as the other Zoo visitors watched & cheered. We fed elephants, we even saw some disgusting rhino behaviour (i’ll post this later), we took part in the Easter fantasyland, and many more! It was really an amazing day.
Now here’s how it relates to my post…
We told the invitees that only the kids will have the free meal, they will have to pay for their lunch. We also told them not to bother with buying or wrapping their gifts, it’s optional. We really just wanted our friends and their kids with us on that day so it could be a group outing. If they felt they need to give something, we said maximum of 10 GBP is enough.
To some this will appear extreme. But given that the adults will have to fork out for their food and some will pay for the train fare to and from London, we felt it necessary to point out that their real gift is their presence. At the end of the day though my son still received nearly 100 GBP. We’re putting the loot in his savings account.
This is the way my hubby & I operate and we feel it’s pratical. Yes, we still spent good money on my son’s party but the idea is everyone will enjoy the day not just the adults drinking & eating themselves to death. And the money? Well isn’t it better to receive something you’d need rather than 10 punchbowls or dozens of GAP shirts?
This entry was posted on Monday, April 16th, 2007 at 8:03 am and is filed under family, money matters. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Very sensible idea for your wedding and your son’s birthday. Practicality is also the idea behind wedding gift registries di ba?
When we got wed, I was afraid I’d get so many glass sets dahil yun yung trend nuon sa wedding gift giving. But, surprise! — we didn’t get a single one. What we got are lotsa linens (towels and beddings) which turned out to be a-ok because these are things you don’t get too much of.
GBP — BP should be for British Pound, but what’s the G for? So UK doesn’t use the euro as currency.
Great decision. Much smarter than saying nothing then getting three bread toasters, four blenders and five coffee makers.
we did the same thing when we got married many years ago. i wasn’t even 20 yet and would be living with my parents until i finished graduate school. so we specifically indicated on the invitations that no gifts are necessary. these days, people celebrate just about anything (pet naming party) just so that they can have a gift registry. some even “double” celebrate (engagement + shower + wedding = 3 gifts). pathetic.
You were going abroad so no sense having all those things you can’t use. Good you and your guests had a good time during your son’s birthday. I salute you for being practical. I cringe when I hear about parents equating the gifts they want to receive to be at par with what they have spent for their child’s party. Hay…
that’s a practical decision. it’s a common practice here in France actually. they normally give cheques for almost all occasions. it’s for you to decide what to do with the money. with louna’s birth, i had a gift cheque from my colleagues and some cheques from here and there. then, from the family, they actually asked us what we needed so we also had our list. nothing wasted.
a lot of weddings here in the US pretty much would rather register at stores that way guests knows what they need and when they go to the store it’ll show what has been bought, etcetera. some weddings, which I prefer btw, puts “monetary gifts preferred”. it sounds scandalous but i think it’s very practical especailly for couples who’s been living together for years and has established theoir own house and stuff. i mean why would a couple want another microwave, right? the monetary gift could be invested on something else like kids in the future..hehehe.
auee, in the Philippine setting, it used to be not that acceptable, parang taboo, but perhaps because of economic reasons, Pinoy culture is slowly changing and moving into being practical and sensible.
naku, i can very well relate with annamanila. lucky for her she got lines and towels, kami ni Hubby lots of punch bowl sets and oven toasters.
Very practical indeed!
But then, the oldies here in the Phils. sometimes can’t understand.
Although I agree with feng, it slowly starting to change.. even kid’s birthday party has a “wishlist” for a gift.
practical–that is the key word. you are right, the old ones would not understand, so you did the right decision in asking for their presence, not their presents, and nothing else.