Wow Huwebes na. Di ako makapaniwala nung Lunes ang sinasabi nga ni bossing “one day down, just four to go”. At eto na nga isang araw na lang. Kanina pa ko excited. Nung sumali nga ako sa kumpanya na ito inihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa pagiging busy, na malamang wala na kong gawin kundi magbasa (hindi novels, hindi interesting, para kong nag-uni uli), na malamang mag-trabaho ako ng sabado o pati ng linggo. Sa awa ng Diyos hindi naman ganoon, sa ngayon. Oo maraming trabaho, marami kong dapat basahin at aralin at alamin pero manageable naman. Sabi nga “it’s a good type of busy” hindi yung hindi na ko magkandaugaga.

Naka-schedule na din ang gagawin ko:
Okay Thursday ngayon, sana mamayang gabi hindi ako makatulog at matapos ko ng yung “intro to stock exchange” na libro.
Bukas, Friday, magpupuyat ako dahil pwede naman akong matulog ng hapon sa Sabado.
Manonood ako ng Ugly Betty tapos panonoorin ko na ang Syriana DVD na ni-rent ko 2 weeks ago pa!
Sa Sabado, sa umaga playtime & learning with my son. Sa hapon, tulog pagtulog ni anak then paggising malamang mag-bake ako ng chocolate cake. Pagsinipag ako malamang mag-jelly kami ng anak ko, mahilig yung makialam sa kusina e.
Sa Linggo, it’s also my day of rest & “no puyat” allowed. Simba, tulog at pahinga.

Linggo-linggo nakaplano ang weekend ko. Hindi pwedeng hindi, dahil bawat oras mahalaga para sa akin. Wala pa nga akong proper na “me time”. At marami pa kong minor projects:
ayusin ang file structure ng home PC ko
backup my PC
i-reorganise yung home office dahil nagkalat na ang documents namin, mostly mine
time for spring clean: palitan na ang nilulumot na mga kurtina, i-dust ang ibabaw ng mga cabinets, clean the windows inside and outside, downstairs and upstairs
biggest task of all: organise the shed — aacckkk

Ewan kung san ako kukuha ng sipag :-)

Wow Huwebes na. Di ako makapaniwala nung Lunes ang sinasabi nga ni bossing “one day down, just four to go”. At eto na nga isang araw na lang. Kanina pa ko excited. Nung sumali nga ako sa kumpanya na ito inihanda ko na ang sarili ko sa pagiging busy, na malamang wala na kong gawin kundi magbasa (hindi novels, hindi interesting, para kong nag-uni uli), na malamang mag-trabaho ako ng sabado o pati ng linggo. Sa awa ng Diyos hindi naman ganoon, sa ngayon. Oo maraming trabaho, marami kong dapat basahin at aralin at alamin pero manageable naman. Sabi nga “it’s a good type of busy” hindi yung hindi na ko magkandaugaga.

Naka-schedule na din ang gagawin ko:
Okay Thursday ngayon, sana mamayang gabi hindi ako makatulog at matapos ko ng yung “intro to stock exchange” na libro.
Bukas, Friday, magpupuyat ako dahil pwede naman akong matulog ng hapon sa Sabado.
Manonood ako ng Ugly Betty tapos panonoorin ko na ang Syriana DVD na ni-rent ko 2 weeks ago pa!
Sa Sabado, sa umaga playtime & learning with my son. Sa hapon, tulog pagtulog ni anak then paggising malamang mag-bake ako ng chocolate cake. Pagsinipag ako malamang mag-jelly kami ng anak ko, mahilig yung makialam sa kusina e.
Sa Linggo, it’s also my day of rest & “no puyat” allowed. Simba, tulog at pahinga.

Linggo-linggo nakaplano ang weekend ko. Hindi pwedeng hindi, dahil bawat oras mahalaga para sa akin. Wala pa nga akong proper na “me time”. At marami pa kong minor projects:
ayusin ang file structure ng home PC ko
backup my PC
i-reorganise yung home office dahil nagkalat na ang documents namin, mostly mine
time for spring clean: palitan na ang nilulumot na mga kurtina, i-dust ang ibabaw ng mga cabinets, clean the windows inside and outside, downstairs and upstairs
biggest task of all: organise the shed — aacckkk

Ewan kung san ako kukuha ng sipag :-)

Last night, I was trying on the clothes I bought online last weekend. My son was watching me very intently because I was parading back and forth our mirror and he’s so excited by colourful parcels I keep throwing on the bed.

When I tried on a monochrome tunic, his face lit up. I asked him if it was nice and he said “yeah”. Sa isip isip ko siguro nase-seksihan sa mummy nya. Then I stripped and tried on a cropped denim. He suddenly said “bigger”, confused I asked my 2-year old what he said and again he said “bigger”… Now ewan ko kung ano ibig nyang sabihin or nakakabasa ng isip ang anak ko pero I can only imagine him thinking “her bum looks bigger in this”…

This morning, I took my fave jeans out of the hanger. I haven’t used this pair for 3 weeks, lo and behold OMG I can hardly close the button & zip up!!! And I thought cutting out the rice at night was enough to at least not gain anymore. Yun pala tama ang anak ko “bigger” nga.

I whipped out the measuring tape which I haven’t used on my body for at least 2 years. I checked my waist, I checked several times. It was 32, well 31 if I suck in the fats hanging around. Then I measured my hips, wow 36, I can’t help but laugh. I still remember when I was 16 y/o my waist was just 24in. When I went home (Pinas) last April, my waist was just 28in, that’s when I bought my nice pair of jeans.

Anyway, I am squeezed into this pair of jeans. I will be all day and night if I don’t manage to take it off.

Two things happened to me, one was elating and the other was depressing.

Good news first. We celebrated hubby’s birthday by visiting the zoo we want to book for my son’s birthday next week. It was a good day for several reasons. The place was nice, the weather was perfect, my kid enjoyed feeding the elephants, and my hubby & I made up. We fought the night before, yes hours before his birth-time. S’ya kasi…

Bad news. I want to expunge my demons by doing what I’m about to, that is admit to stupidity. I came in a meeting unprepared eventhough I was hosting it. I introduced a third party provider to our CIO and everything’s going well. But I am well aware that I am ever so quiet eventhough the work really concerns my department. I have a reason for this, wala akong experience sa pag-vet ng consultancy firms. I don’t know what sensible questions I could ask them, as for technical ones, limited pa din dahil di naman techie people ang kaharap ko kundi sales/marketing rep lang. So what happened? After the roundabout, humarap si bossing sa kin asking what I think and how we ought to go about dealing with this firm? OH SHIT. I will spare myself the humiliating details, suffice to say buti na lang superhero yung dev manager and he caught my face on the way to then floor.

I came home last night feeling like a super big loser. How can I be so stupid? Why didn’t I think of the possibilities? I keep ramming it on my person. If I am a masochist, I’d be drawing lines across my wrists now. As obvious from this post, I can’t stop obssessing! Last night I can’t help sighing or muttering “gees” every few minutes until I fell asleep. Hubby was there to give me a hug, too & some choice pearls of wisdom that made me feel better and prepared next time. But still… You know, first impression crap and all.

Oh well, better start researching then?

It used to be worse than this but then we didn’t have a child. I’d leave at 7am, come home at 7pm. Six years ago he was still a junior nurse and he’d be given night shifts. It means if this is first night, then I just might catch him at the door, him going out, I just arrived. The following morning, I’d be gone when he comes home. If he’s on night for several days the scene I just described will repeat itself again and again.

Now, we’re both very tired from work. He’s a senior staff and is often in-charge of their ward. I’m managing (trying to) a test team from officially 9am to 530pm, which in reality is from the time I leave the house (7am) to the time I leave the office (6pm, on average) & some weekends, some work-related readings at night etc. And since we’re getting old and we do lack exercise, our bedtime has can be 9pm or 8pm. We’re both up by 6am, otherwise our son will start fussing.

We are with each other for 30 minutes in the morning and for 2-3 hours at night, from Monday to Friday, whether its his day off or not. On weekends, I get to spend as much time with my son as possible. I’d let him stay up late (i.e. 9pm) at times. But with hubby, it’s a different story. His weekend off’s are so few and far between, I’d come to cherish it. I’d look forward to it and wish that we have money to spare so we can always throw caution to the wind and just enjoy the 48 hours we’ve been given. But reality is, we’ve got a lawn that needs mowing, he’s tired and wants to sleep longer in the morning and some more in the afternoon. We’d cuddle and snore together, and that’s it most of the time.

I miss having time for each other when life was simpler and we’ve got nothing. No land deeds, no savings account (we still don’t by the amount that’s there), no son. But then we’d end up tired anyway but without our joy.

We need to take a LOOONNGGG break. A month or two with no work, no plans, no one to see, nothing to do. We’ll just hang with each other. Take long walks. See a film, play pool. Swim. Relax. Cuddle. Kiss. Stay in bed naked.

Maybe next year.

I don’t know how common this is in other industries or part of the world, but in all companies (all software houses) I worked for the development/technology team is always VERY VERY silent. It’s like working in a library or being in a cemetery at an ungodly hour. The only noise you’re likely to hear is the tip-tap of the keyboards, which is also very rare in the programmers’ area, mostly in the testing side of the floor.

Back when I worked with a Philippines-based company, we moved to a spanking-new building in Ortigas where everything was state-of-the-art. Our boss even asked for a “noise reduction” thingy-mabob put in, which I found outrageous because: a) the floor is carpeted and the footfalls very quietly, and b) because no one hardly ever talks during business hours. The only time you’d hear voices reverberate is during lunchtime or when a slightly sociable (ehem) staff is hovering over other cubes to get a buzz. And yes at night when everyone prefers to kill time by playing some network games or watch some DVDs while the whole of Metro Manila are stuck in rush hour traffic.

When I was in India I observed that the “silence” there is much, much severe than in Pinas. Well, actually a lot of things there were, to me, quite severe compared to company policies in Manila. but that’s another topic.

Here in London, “the unwritten golden rule” also applies. I wrote about it this time because I thought this is always the case and I am used to it by now. To be honest sometimes I get annoyed when people want to chat and I’m really up to my neck with work. So it was a big surprise when a developer resigned and one of the issues he raised is he’s not comfortable with the fact that “no one talks”. It was laughable to think you’d leave a company you joined three (3) weeks ago because you don’t like it that everyone’s nose-down-working.

So, is “silence” also the golden rule in other industries? In other countries?

Hubby’s birthday on Sunday. Una sabi nya mag-La Tasca na lang daw kami. Okay naman sa akin dahil masarap naman talaga ang tapas dun plus child friendly ang service nila nung kumain kami duon. So yes we can come back.

Kaya lang na-mention ko na birthday na nga pala ni kulit next month. Kako kung sa bahay ang party, dapat mag-book na kami ng catering (dahil ayoko nang magluto para sa buong barrio) at ng entertainment (clown? magician? face painting? o rent na lang ng bouncy castle?). Dahil wala kaming idea sa mga presyo nito I mentioned a rounded figure of £400. Natingin sa akin si hubby nanlalaki ang mata! (I like his astounded look)

Mag-Pizza Hut kiddie party na lang daw kaya kami? Veto ako, sabi ko baka walang dumayo sa Essex para lang mag-pizza. Saka ayoko talaga, mana pa kung Jollibee yun!

So this Sunday, pupunta kami ng Colchester Zoo. I really like this idea. Una dahil gusto ko naman mag-enjoy talaga ang bebe ko. Pangalawa gusto ko yung may activity ang mga bata hindi kainan lang. Pangatlo outdoor pa sya. At ang huli, yung close friends lang namin ang iimbitahan namin. Marami-rami pa din sa totoo lang pero dahil lang maraming anak yung isang pamilya. 10 kids lang, tatlo e below 2 years old pa. Yung malaking pamilya e 4 agad ang anak na puro mga close naman namin. Anim na pamilya kami. Ang makakabigat sa bulsa palagay ko e yung bayad ng adults. Pano ko ba sasabihin na “pwede ba mare, ikaw lang sumama?” or better yet say something like, “pare wag na kayong sumama ni mare at kami ng mag-asawa ang magsu-supervise sa mga bata”… aay palpak di ba? Ang gastos. Malamang bawasan ko pa din yang mga bisita na yan na alam kong mahirap gawin.

Anyway balik tayo sa original topic ko, magiging scouting ang birthday celebration ng asawa ko. Kelangang matuloy yan dahil wala na syang weekend off. At sana e wag umulan.

He’s turning 34 at sa totoo lang e napaka-conscious. Di ko na alam kung ilang beses ko na narinig sa kanya ang “ang tanda na ng mukha ko”. Gusto kong sakalin e. Sabi ko magpa-Botox na sya hehe

I have some very simple goals in my new workplace:

Priority 1: Play with my chair’s setup, my lower back is aching! Why I have put it off this long I don’t know. And I really don’t want to do it during the core hours. So tomorrow, that’s first on my list to do as soon as I arrive.

Priority 2: Get my hands on keyboard and mouse. My new place is a startup, we are still hiring the HR/Office Admin, Operations Support and even most of the Technology team. So a lot of things are not here yet including my mouse, keyboard and my docking station. I really have a very sour relationship with laptops, I’m a desktop person. I don’t understand why people would want to carry their laptops every where, every day when they’re not travelling salesmen — you’re a programmer for Pete’s sake! You’re not being productive by coding 24/7. Personally I’d only take home my company laptop on two occasions:
- I need to finish some work tonite/this weekend
- I am going to a client site

My worst laptop story? I went to China with two laptops. One was for actual business related work. The other was for exploratory testing, which means if I happen to break that baby, I’m not hampered. Egad! I think it’s part of my recurring nightmare.

Yung isang linggong pahinga ko was in reality just 4 days of rest. Most of the time I was “studying” and preparing. I got my hands on some software copies so I proceeded on installing it on my newly-allocated laptop. I need to evaluate at least 4 test tools for this new company.

And this week, is my official first week. Ang daming babasahin, nakakaloka. Pero enjoy naman. I really feel positive about this place. Even if the business doesn’t pick up I think I’d still end up gaining a lot.

Besides the fact that all the signs I see and feel are positive. I turned down Accenture UK for this place and I feel no regret.

Here’s hoping it continues to be good.

16 February was my last day at my ex-company. Nakaka-praning. Wala na kong maisip gawin. Binura ko nga lahat ng MP3 ko sa iPod ko para lang makapag-backup pa ko ng mga emails ko. Binura ko din lahat ng mabubura ko at maa-uninstall ko sa PC ko.

Then it was time for the traditional “leaving lunch”. Dalawa kaming aalis that day so buti na lang at sya ang nag-reserve nung restaurant. The entire company’s staffs were there. Pero kwidaw kayo, hindi kami “free”, KKB (re: kanya-kanyan bayad) yan. We could only stay for 1 hour. Akala ko pa naman e at least 2 hours kami dun. The resto manager kicked us out.

Anyway, 6pm kasi ang cut-off time dun sa office na yun. By 5pm mag-gather round daw kami for another tradition in British offices, “leaving speech”. Maganda yung gift na binigay sa akin, courtesy of my senior team member. Satisfied naman ako. Sabi nung mga officemates ko ang ganda daw ng parting words nung cto namin para sa akin. Eh? Siguro. But I think there were barbs hidden there, or paranoid lang ako.

Kataka-taka 530pm na wala pang tumatayo para makapunta na kami dun sa pub. Ay! Di ko na kaya, inaya ko na yung team namin with the pretext na mawawala yung reservation naming (which is true, we arrived 5mins late & it was given away). By 610pm ayan libre na ko. People were buying me food and drinks.

Normally hindi ako nag-i-stay sa “leaving drinks” later than 7pm. But this time around I stayed ‘til 830pm. I actually enjoyed myself, nakakapagtaka.