Two things happened to me, one was elating and the other was depressing.

Good news first. We celebrated hubby’s birthday by visiting the zoo we want to book for my son’s birthday next week. It was a good day for several reasons. The place was nice, the weather was perfect, my kid enjoyed feeding the elephants, and my hubby & I made up. We fought the night before, yes hours before his birth-time. S’ya kasi…

Bad news. I want to expunge my demons by doing what I’m about to, that is admit to stupidity. I came in a meeting unprepared eventhough I was hosting it. I introduced a third party provider to our CIO and everything’s going well. But I am well aware that I am ever so quiet eventhough the work really concerns my department. I have a reason for this, wala akong experience sa pag-vet ng consultancy firms. I don’t know what sensible questions I could ask them, as for technical ones, limited pa din dahil di naman techie people ang kaharap ko kundi sales/marketing rep lang. So what happened? After the roundabout, humarap si bossing sa kin asking what I think and how we ought to go about dealing with this firm? OH SHIT. I will spare myself the humiliating details, suffice to say buti na lang superhero yung dev manager and he caught my face on the way to then floor.

I came home last night feeling like a super big loser. How can I be so stupid? Why didn’t I think of the possibilities? I keep ramming it on my person. If I am a masochist, I’d be drawing lines across my wrists now. As obvious from this post, I can’t stop obssessing! Last night I can’t help sighing or muttering “gees” every few minutes until I fell asleep. Hubby was there to give me a hug, too & some choice pearls of wisdom that made me feel better and prepared next time. But still… You know, first impression crap and all.

Oh well, better start researching then?

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 15th, 2007 at 11:01 am and is filed under depression, family, work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.