Hubby & I were discussing betrayals and how some OAP (old age pensioners) couples we know stay together eventhough a partner has strayed. I ventured that maybe when you grow older, you have suffered hell & back with this person & your “heart of stone” mellows thru the years. Maybe you learn to really forgive & forget.

I can’t imagine myself in that position. It wouldn’t just be a hardblow to anyone, I’m sure for most, our worlds will fall apart. Can I really forgive my hubby his transgression & start anew? Today, I don’t think so. I’m sure my nights would be filled with nightmares, my waking hour filled with questions and my pride would be seriously battered. My self-respect and my respect to my husband would disintegrate & I’d be an embittered woman looking for revenge or at least, looking to hurt someone perhaps even myself.

Then I recently met this “girl” (she’s naive by nature, but I think it’s just a helpless-woman-act). She is so in-love with her husband she’s willing to forgive him anything. All she cares about is they stay together & as long as they have a happy family she can turn a blind eye to his wanderings. She professes to raising their family as God’s army (an oxymoron if your husband is immoral, right?). She just requires him to tell her if there’s a third, or maybe, a fourth or even an nth party in the scene. On the other hand, the husband has been telling her how much he adores her & that he loves here truly but he’s a “genetic womaniser” — he apparently cannot help it & he is bound to hurt her (which implies he hasn’t touched anyone but the wifey).

So from the outset, the husband is warning the wife that he wants to stray but “i’m so inlove with you it might not happen” and the wife is giving him the license to stray but points out “I’m a vulnerable madly-inlove woman you can take advantage of”. Are they doing a perverted dance? Who should win the “Reverse Psychology” tactic of the year award?

They’re weird to me but then maybe I just can’t accept the fact that her tactic is so much better for peace at home & self-preservation. Maybe she has no self-esteem at all or my ego is just so inflated I cannot cope with a personal blow. Should I change tactic? Or should I stop seeing this couple? They’re bad examples.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 16th, 2006 at 2:25 pm and is filed under marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.