Yesterday was another typical day at the office which is looking more and more like the TV show or maybe even Dilbert’s life.

10am - meeting with the top bossing about a valued contractor who resigned. Trying to make him commit to offer full time employment or else suffer the consequences (mine mostly).

11am - after 10am we went straight to some stakeholder’s meeting which ran until nearly 1pm! By which time we were forced to meet again at 3pm to prioritise the next project’s features.

3pm - ate my lunch on the train back to the office to reach the 3pm meeting where we stayed for 30minutes arguing why we should postpone the meeting until the “owners” are better prepared. We adjourned to convene the following day.

Good use of 30minutes and we got free fruits for our efforts. Today we face a harrowing 3 hours going thru 250 features we need to prioritise for our next penance.

Considering that I broke up with an ex for cheating on me (with a “friend” and the recent incident that my best mate reported, should I be alarmed?

Apparently ex was so excited to see my buddy that he caused a ruckus just to catch her attention & when he got it, he asked for her number. Could it be he’s zooming in on her now?

Some time last week my 2-year old was finishing his bottle for the night & we’ve finished our storytime. So we were both quiet as he’s finding his way to dreamland. I turned my back & just mimicked his sniffle — why? Because I’m insane.

After 2 sniffles, I felt my son’s hand gently tapping and caressing my back.

I’d die for this person. I’d die for his dad, too.

I mentioned in my previous post that while we were in India, we were having meetings during dinner. Isa sa mga topics naman ay kung paano namin maaayos ang current firefighting situation namin, lagi pang delayed dahil sa totoo lang e poor planning. Anyway yung top bossing namin 3 libro ang binabasa nya tungkol sa bagong methodology na gustong nyang i-adapt namin. Talaga naman para ko uling nakaupo sa CMSC 121 (automata) namin, yung puro theoretical?

O sige at least iniisip ko hindi ako ang kelangang magbasa. I only get the summary & the “juicy” portions.

Tapos on several occasions, at least 4 of them would quote from 1 or 2 books that they’ve read. Merong fan base sa amin si Joel Spoolsky. Saka may binili daw yung CEO namin na libro na sobrang ganda tipong topic namin sya sa breakfast, sa van on the way to work, sa work, sa van on the way to the hotel, sa dinner, sa plane… sa panaginip ko… Pero totoo naman this last book is a good read, by definition a good read to me is naaaliw ako, my head doesn’t ache with too many concepts I don’t understand. In short hindi sya textbook.

Then last week I have a surprise waiting on my desk! Guess what? Merong librong nag-aantay sa akin na binili ni top bossing. Hindi ko pa nga tapos yung “world is flat” e!

I know I should be grateful because I can only improve with all these learning. Pero ayoko ng pinupwersa sa akin yung ganitong babasahin lalo na at wala naman akong downtime sa opisina to read an effing textbook. Ibig sabihin “read it at your leisure” e yun na nga ginagawa ko sa libo-libong (exag) requirement ducments namin ‘no.

So after a week, nagiging pabigat lang ‘tong librong ito sa akin. Grrr.

I work in a manic IT company where people are encouraged to work long hours & come in on time. When I joined the atmosphere wasn’t this bad. Though admittedly their official working hour is already long compared to general standard, ours is 9-6 not 9-5. But during my interview I was told they have a semi-flexible working hour. The late arrival is 10am, which works for me perfectly as I will sometimes need to bring or pick up my son from his nursery & I live 1.5hrs away from the City.

Fast-forward to 8 months later, the original dev manager has left, we have a new CTO & everyone’s under pressure. The dev manager until he’s been told to quit, worked 12hr days, worked weekends & owned our entire platform. Need a new feature? 2 hr job. Change the infrastructure? A day’s job… all of which takes forever to then stabilize.

Our VP of Engineering, parang laging magpi-fit sa sobrang excitement kung may bagong technology o may magandang feature na pwedeng idagdag. Gusto nya ng intensive testing at parang alam nya talagang mag-QA pero pagnagbigay ng project schedule walang resemblance sa real life. Too optimistic, too energetic, too hyper? A lot of developers has already said so.

Yung CTO naman namin ganito ka-dedicated: Pupunta ng India si VP e the day before the flight nadiscover nya, expired na visa nya. Step in the CTO sya na lilipad at an hour’s notice(!!!).

Nakakuha naman ng emergency visa si VP, wanna know how his trip went? Dating ng India Wednesday 8am, meeting at 10am, and at 3pm GMT (4hrs ahead ang India ha) nag-e-email na ng report. At 6pm GMT sumasagot pa sya sa mga tanong ko! Alis sya ng India Thursday dating dito ng Thursday night, andito ngayon sa opisina 9am at mag-meeting daw kami.

Yan ang dedication, pards.

During my days at Microsoft, whenever I get deployed “jetlag” is always considered. We do not turn up to work or meetings with bleary eyes. We are given enough time to rest & of course a company card to support ourselves.

Dito nung nagpunta kami sa India ang trip namin parang yung trip ni VP, mas malala lang. Dahil hanggang dinner namin (siempre kasama mga bossing - VP at CTO) nag-mi-meeting kami!!! Gusto kong pakamatay. Alis ng hotel 830am dinner hanggang 11pm for 1 week!!! Mas lumalala pa nung humabol yung CEO namin on our last day. Talaga naman… 1am na p*cha, ayaw pang tumigil. Di na ko nakatiis I told the CTO na kelangan ko nang magpahinga dahil ang alis namin sa hotel 530am!

Thankfully Friday night kami dumating dito so I had the Saturday & Sunday to catch up with my son & my husband.

Pero kung ganito ka-”dedicated” ang mga tao dito, how can I survive or even think to compete? So I shake my head & tell myself, sila na lang.

Hubby & I were discussing betrayals and how some OAP (old age pensioners) couples we know stay together eventhough a partner has strayed. I ventured that maybe when you grow older, you have suffered hell & back with this person & your “heart of stone” mellows thru the years. Maybe you learn to really forgive & forget.

I can’t imagine myself in that position. It wouldn’t just be a hardblow to anyone, I’m sure for most, our worlds will fall apart. Can I really forgive my hubby his transgression & start anew? Today, I don’t think so. I’m sure my nights would be filled with nightmares, my waking hour filled with questions and my pride would be seriously battered. My self-respect and my respect to my husband would disintegrate & I’d be an embittered woman looking for revenge or at least, looking to hurt someone perhaps even myself.

Then I recently met this “girl” (she’s naive by nature, but I think it’s just a helpless-woman-act). She is so in-love with her husband she’s willing to forgive him anything. All she cares about is they stay together & as long as they have a happy family she can turn a blind eye to his wanderings. She professes to raising their family as God’s army (an oxymoron if your husband is immoral, right?). She just requires him to tell her if there’s a third, or maybe, a fourth or even an nth party in the scene. On the other hand, the husband has been telling her how much he adores her & that he loves here truly but he’s a “genetic womaniser” — he apparently cannot help it & he is bound to hurt her (which implies he hasn’t touched anyone but the wifey).

So from the outset, the husband is warning the wife that he wants to stray but “i’m so inlove with you it might not happen” and the wife is giving him the license to stray but points out “I’m a vulnerable madly-inlove woman you can take advantage of”. Are they doing a perverted dance? Who should win the “Reverse Psychology” tactic of the year award?

They’re weird to me but then maybe I just can’t accept the fact that her tactic is so much better for peace at home & self-preservation. Maybe she has no self-esteem at all or my ego is just so inflated I cannot cope with a personal blow. Should I change tactic? Or should I stop seeing this couple? They’re bad examples.