I never thought I’d be this silly. My QA contractor just filed her resignation & I’m really gutted. Thank goodness I still have a bit of self-control, otherwise I’d be crying!

I can’t lose her, she’s the only reliable person in my team. And we pay her very poorly but it’s not my fault. Then she tells me the position was for a permanent role in Accenture UK for a job that pays £32K… There goes any tiny hope I may have had about asking my CTO to offer her a permanent job. Our company’s so tightfisted, it’s making QA suffer.

I’m really, really sad – no, devastated to lose this girl. Yes, she’s not perfect but she’s better than the other two contractuals we have. Oh well.

If I count how many times I’ve wished I never have to work, I’d run out of numbers. Today is one of those days when I seem to have a weekend-hangover. The sun is pleasantly bright but the air is a bit chilly. It’s just a perfect day out. I’ve been at work since 7am & all I could think about is how I wish I can spend the day, with hubby & son, strolling in the park.

Then there would be days when my toddler’s sick & I wish all the more that I could stay at home & just be with him. Or days when he gets frustrated ’cause he can’t form words & I wish I could be there 24/7 for him & tutor him. But I know I can’t & it will not happen. Also the practical me shoves my dreams away as domestic chores will not disappear when I’m at home. I’d probably be frustrated at home too because nowadays during weekends, I spend at least 20 hours doing housework instead of “relaxing” with my kid. Yes there are days we do relax & play, but those are exceptions.

Maybe I have been born lazy because I feel like I’ve been working all my life. I never get to “chill” and spend my savings on an around-the-world-trip. Shortchange? Not really. I am just in a pensive mood.