I hate confrontations. I get too emotional & when I’m really mad, tears fall without caution. It makes me appear weak.

But what I hate most is not coming up with retorts quick enough. I always feel like I have a big ‘L’ sign on my forehead.

So here is my sayang moment number 1:

I was 9-10 years old, in a pedicab. It was the start of the school year & a Philippine rainy season. An old man (probably in his 30’s) rode the same pedicab, he’s got splashes of mud on his trousers (so does everyone else). He turns to me and asks if I have some tissue & I said no. He comments “babae ka pa naman wala kang tissue“. I know I should say something but my tongue was unwilling to move, my brain was unwilling to work. I was indignant. When I got to school I was in a foul mood. And now, 20 years after, I’m still fuming hehehe

Sayang moment number 2:

I was 18-19 years old, a selective group of sisses in my academic org decided they had enough of me always preferring my then-boyfriend than our org. They ambushed me in what was supposed to be a girl’s nightout, they turned it into a bull session. I was the bull. The precious few members who tried to defend me were all powerless from the bullies. I was powerless & offered no defence, why?? Because I was stupid. I had my revenge the following day instead. But it was still too late. I still wished I said a million things to them that very night.

I thought the whole month’s gonna pass without any problems. But last weekend after a kiddie party, my son got sick. Hubby & I have to juggle work & nursing the little boy. There’s much discussion about who should stay at home. I insist I did last time & it’s his turn.

We’re both very busy. But of course I felt I deserved to work coz it’s my last 2 weeks & I’m still recruiting & training the testers. I feel guilty that I might leave the company in a lurch (yes I know I should be guilty of thinking that when my son is sick). Thankfully hubby’s got 2 days off so it wasn’t that bad. For his side, he insists he’s needed at the hospital coz he’s a “sister” & the rest of the staff are juniors.

The perils of parenthood with no grandparents as backup.

Anyway, two nights ago, my son was fighting with hubby to stay awake though he’s clearly sleepy. He hasn’t been eating well and… well, he’s got gastroentiritis, it’s not pretty.

I was groggy & tired from work, I just want to sleep. It was 8pm & was half-awake when my mobile phone rang. There were so many voices in the background all giggly & I thought maybe I know them, I just don’t recognize the number. A guy said hello & said “ayan na” & gave the phone to someone else. Still patient but yawning, I asked who it was. This time a Filipino girl answered, said my name & said “Nanay mo” (your mother) & started to giggle. I hang up.

We’re miles away from home (the Philippines) and Filipinos still waste each other’s time with crank calls. So two days later I remembered & gave the number a call. A girl answered & when I told her who I was she was very apologetic. She won’t say who she was except that she’s a nurse. I asked why she felt the need to call me at night to celebrate their drunken-ness & she started to stammer. Naman… We’re all trying to make a living far away from loved ones & you still get idiots following you around.