written on 7 September 2002

There was much debate about dual citizenship lately. I’m torn in half.

A journalist from Phil. Inquirer says people cannot have the best of both worlds without taking in the worst from both as well. I cannot be British and serve it’s Royal Army and at the same time be in the Philippine Marines. He’s right, most Filipinos and pseudo-Filipinos are plain selfish. All fiery and seemingly patriotic when “big” things are happening in Manila but when that issue fails them, their fervour fizzles and dies. Off they go, comfortable in their brick houses with working chimneys and carpeted floors. They’re like most Philippine politicians, they have back-ups and spare tires in case things do not work out in our country.

Am I going to be like them? Am I like them?

I am deeply patriotic. I’m a Filipino. I feel it in my heart and soul. Heck, I’m willing to die for my country. I cry when the government fails and I feel physical pain when I see pictures of our slums. It hurts to say we’re one of the Third World. But I’m proud of my colour, my race and my history. I’m proud of our skilled workers and I’m happy to be one of them. Prouder still that London knows it.

In a few years time my husband and I can apply for residency, a few more after that and we can apply for citizenship. I’ve been asking myself whether it’s necessary. Would it matter that every time I see “citizenship” in a form I’ll fill in “British”? That every time someone asks me what my citizenship is, I will not answer “Filipino” anymore?

I already feel like a traitor. I’m going to betray myself. I’m going to betray my Motherland. I feel guilty and I think I will be.

Tears fell from my eyes last night while contemplating this. It’s difficult to put into words. How did other Filipinos feel when they took oath for a different nation? As far as I can tell, most of the Pinoys around me are happy enough of the prospect.

I’ll delay it as much as I can. Probably long enough that it wouldn’t happen at all.

When the time comes and I decide to swear on a foreign flag, I’ll be changing my personal details but I would like to say, I will never change my allegiance to my country of birth.

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 25th, 2006 at 5:33 pm and is filed under buhay OFW, pinas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.