On my way to work, with random thoughts as company, I had to urge to count my age (I tend to forget) and realised that I am 30 this year! I was shocked. For me ’30′ officially dates a person as “old”. And now I am. In 10 years time I will be 40.

What have I got to show for it? This is a milestone in my life and have I got what wanted and truly deserved? I thought long and hard back to those girl promises made in the 80′s. Well at least I was true to my promise not to marry until I was 25. I didn’t want kids until my early 30′s but then changed my mind as I don’t want to be a stooped old lady with a teenage son. I have a mortgage, I a brand new family car which we’re paying for 3-years, I’m a senior employee at work, I’ve been to several continents… So are these enough to gauge my personal achievements?

I can’t help but feel that there is a void. My love for my family is great & overwhelming but at the same time the responsibilities and relationships I have are also tremendous. I hate being a grown-up & I loathe the need to act like one. I’d like to curl up & just be my mom’s little girl. Ahh those were days.

30, it scares me.